Alex's Moemon CRACK Adventure
by Beastlywolf666
Summary: This is my first fic, kinda bad but most likely will get better later. Newest chapters have info on OCs. Please review if you can so I can know how I'm doing and give suggestions I'm low on ideas except for the plot . I know how bad it is, so no flaming, but constructive criticism is accepted! CRACK will be later, but it will be in here, so just wait a bit!
1. Chapter 1: For once, I'm glad my sink is

Chapter 1: For once, I'm glad my sink is broken

Author's Note: Yeah, this is my first story and so what better way to start than with a long crack fic? Yeah, I'll be moving things along and doing better the more I work on this, so it's gonna suck here in the beginning. Also, I'll refer to myself as Beast in ANs and such, just letting you know now. Well, here's the first chapter of the story! Now… RANDOM HOBO! DISCLAIMER! NOW!

Random Hobo: Uh, the hell you talkin' about?

Beast: I gotta do a disclaimer here. Besides, I'll feed you~…

Random Hobo: Deal. Beastlywolf666 does not own Pokemon, Moemon, or any anime/games references made. Now give me a steak!

Beast: Fine… Enjoy!

* * *

"Ah dammit, what the hell happened last night?" Questioned our possibly hung-over protagonist. "Ah, hell no, not the voices. GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY HEAD BITCH! And my name's Alex Blaik, just so you don't keep the readers here in the dark of who I am- THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY HOUSE!"

Indeed, what had happened to it? What used to be a nice but slightly messy one-floor house now looked as if a drowned tornado came through. Everything was scattered around everywhere and was soaking wet. Although it looked like there were some scorch marks here and there.

Alex found a set of clothes that weren't too wet and put them on. His appearance was of a 25-year old even though he was only 22. He had dark brown hair that reached right blow his ears, stood a good 5'11" tall, was around 200 pounds though mostly in muscle, had blue eyes and a not so perfect smile, but was charming all the same. His attire at the moment was black running shoes with white socks, long khaki pants that met his shoes, and a dark red polo shirt. He walked through the house inspecting the damage until he stopped and palm-faced (no mistake there) while muttering, "Someone move this plot along. With this guy in charge, we might as well spend a whole day describing how to properly wake up out of bed."

"Who are you talking to?" A tired voice behind him said. Alex jumped and spun around to see who spoke. It looked like a 16-year old girl although she could have been older. She had long dirty-blonde hair that reached her waist and had sparkling green eyes that showed the signs of just waking up. She stood at about 5'8" and looked about 120 pounds. Her attire was a black tank-top and jean shorts with white shoes and pink socks that went halfway up her thigh. It seemed they had a red heart on each of them. The one thing that caught Alex's eye was her well-endowed chest that looked to be borderline D-cup. After a minute of silence, the girl spoke up.

"As much as I enjoy guys looking at my breasts, I just want to go home and take a REAL nap. Oh, and my name is Melonie Ryders, but everyone calls me Mel." Mel sounded tired but Alex wanted to know what she was doing here before she went anywhere.

"You enjoy having guys look at you? Never mind, I'll tell you the way out if you tell me why you're here and what happened last night." Ales said with a stern voice. Not enough to scare her, but enough to let her know he was serious.

"Oh, well since you learned today you started your journey, you decided to have a big party and invited everyone over. I believe at one point a fire started but no one cared because it was put out by the busted sink over there shortly after it started. Well, see you at the lab." She said all of this as she walked to the door as if she already knew where to go.

"Well, guess we got some foreshadowing done here," Alex said with a slightly confused look on his face, "But now I don't know what region I'm in. If only I could have some outside help…"

* * *

Beast: Well, that's my first chapter done. Like the guy said, I don't know what region this should be so the first region said in a HELPFUL review (meaning no flaming my first chapter ever) will be where this takes place, plus the person gets a shout-out. Don't worry, there will be plenty of opportunities for shout-outs though why would anyone worry about that? Anyways, I will also take 3 OCs, 2 male and 1 female. One male is going to be Alex's 'friend', and the other his rival. The female OC, if you haven't guessed, is Mel's rival of sorts. I got the storyline and plot down, just not all the characters. Please Review if you can! If you don't well…

Random Hobo: HEY! Where's my goddamn steak!

Beast: Oh, shit, your still here? One sec, where's that knife…


	2. Chapter 2: Never had this happen to you

Chapter 2: You never had this happen first starting out, now did ya?

Beast: Hello, hello. I didn't get any reviews yet, but I'm fine with that unlike some authors I have seen. I have changed the plot but nothing in chapter 1 is changed. Now I know this is a moemon story, but I wanted to do something a little different. So now, all pokemon in the wild are pokemon, but the trainer pokemon are different in that the males are pokemon, but female are the moemon. Unlike other stories, there will be no 'pact', but there _are_ heat cycles. More will be revealed this chapter and in others, but I will clear up any questions that may be too confusing. Also, I want to give a shout-out to BeatTheFox for not only giving me my first OC that will be introduced later, but also gave me a couple more ideas for this story. Now, I guess that is all I need to discuss, so-

?:What about us!

Beast: Damn it, thought they would stay quiet… Anyways, I have two 'interns' with me that will help out. We got Jonesie, who represents almost everything that pisses me off, and Casey who has been and is now trying to sleep with me.

Casey: Not my fault you wrote me that way.

Jonesie: Don't I get a say in this?

Beast: No you don't Jonesie, no you don't. Now Casey, stop rubbing my crotch and do the disclaimer.

Casey: Okay… Beastlywolf666 does not own Pokemon, Moemon, or any references to any other games, movies, or animes. Now will you-

Beast: NO! I'm working. Go keep Jonesie out of the fridge.

Jonesie: I hate my job…

Reply to reviews

Numbershooter-I actually was going to do Sinnoh, but I chose Unova because I had an idea that is revealed at the end of this chapter. I used his outfit on what I wear on a daily basis so that's a big coincidence that that's your uniform for school XD. And Mel is based on a girl at my school who me and a few friends have said repeatedly that she has to be the hottest girl we've seen, and she does have waist-length hair. You'll see a good amount of blondes and waist-haired girls throughout this story and any others.

* * *

"Alright then, I'm now in Nuvema Town! Time to get my first pokemon." Our so-called hero exclaimed to no one in particular.

He arrived in Nuvema Town in high hopes of getting his first pokemon, although he was more hoping for all three starters. How he planned to do that? He wanted to seduce Professor Juniper with his charm in anyways he could. How it really happened? Well…

"Hello? Anyone there?" Alex called while knocking on the door to the lab. An aide opened the door, looking a little frantic.

"What do you want? Oh, you must be here for a pokemon. Uh, the professor is a little… busy with her intern, Bianca." The aide looked flustered as he said this.

"Well, I'll make sure she's not busy anymore." Alex pushed past the aide and walked around the lab hearing noise from behind a closet door. He opened up the door… and quickly closed it back. Let's just say Alex knows more than he should about the professor and her intern. Two loud screams were heard after the door closed and some thumping sounds were heard as well. A few minutes later, Bianca ran out of the closet and out of the lab, followed by Juniper who led Alex back to the main lab.

"Please don't say anything about what happened and I'll give you any pokemon we can hand out as your starter." The professor said this so fast before Alex could say anything that he was momentarily confused.

"Wait, don't I already get a choice?" Alex had heard you got to pick either a water, grass, or fire that were unique to each region.

"Before, you could, but Bill, the creator of the PC, messed up on an experiment that had things go weird with already caught pokemon." Juniper had a small blush on her face as she said this.

"What do you mean 'weird'?" Alex was now completely confused. What did she mean? He hadn't heard anything on the news lately about it.

"Well, see for yourself." Juniper turned around and picked up three regular Pokeballs and pressed the button and released the pokemon inside them. What should have been an Oshawott, a Tepig, and a Snivy was now, well…

"They're GIRLS?" Alex shouted in alarm. Indeed, instead of the three pokemon, there were three human girls looking at him and Juniper expectantly.

"Yes they are, but they are pokemon all the same strangely. It has happened across the world, turning only the female pokemon into what we call now Moemon. The males still have their original pokemon shape. This girl here used to be Oshawott." The girl was about 5'1" and looked about 90 pounds. She had shoulder-length blue hair that was white at the tips, dark blue eyes, freckles, and looked to be about a B-cup. She wore a blue t-shirt with the picture of a scallop on it and blue shorts along with blue sandals.

"This cutie next to her was Tepig." The second one was about 5'2" and looked about 100 pounds. She had shoulder-length black hair with two black ears sticking out at the top of her head. Her eyes were dark red and had a mischievous look to them. She wore a red-orange t-shirt and black shorts. As Juniper introduced Tepig, the pokemon turned moemon hugged the professor and nuzzled her cheek and glared at Alex, making him a little nervous.

"And the last one used to be Snivy." Snivy was 5 feet even, and looked about 85 pounds. She had, guess what, shoulder-length green hair and dark green eyes. She wore a green t-shirt and khaki colored shorts. Snivy took one look at Alex and turned around with her nose in the air, pissing him off immensely.

"So I get to pick one? Aw, I was really hoping on getting more than one…" Alex said with a crestfallen look.

"HEY! What are doing picking your pokemon before me, bastard?" Said a voice behind him.

"Oh, hey Mel. I was wondering when you would show up. Can you believe this? We can only get one pokemon to start off." Alex said without turning around, studying the three moemon intensely.

"You didn't even turn around! That's no fun… And only one, huh? That's so inconvenient to the plot. I know! Pick the one you want the least." Alex was shocked to know that she knew about the plot and he didn't. He looked at the moemon and instantly knew which one he didn't want.

"I would have to say Tepig because a beard a girl? I'm not sure she would have one but I don't want any chances. Besides, she looks perfectly fine here with Juniper." Alex knew Emboar, the third evolution of Tepig, had a beard of fire, so he thought the Emboar would have one human or not.

"Alrighty then, I'll have the Snivy and you take the Oshawott."

"Why can't I have the Snivy?" Alex was wondering if she was trying to get a type advantage so early in the journey.

"Because, you're going to have them both either way. Don't worry about it, it's for the plot, so it's okay." Alex was stunned. This girl who he only knew the name of was giving him her first pokemon.

"Are you sure? I can't possibly take your first pokemon from you." Alex said this as Juniper returned the Snivy and Oshawott handing them to Alex with a questioning look in her eyes but with a smile on her face.

"Like I said, don't worry. Oh, and take this pokemon too so you can have half a team already." Mel reached into her pocket and took out an ultra-ball and handed it to Alex. "I had fun with this guy, but for the plot, you can have him." She then kissed him on the cheek and walked out of the lab, leaving Alex with three pokemon he has yet to name, one he hasn't seen yet.

"Alright, well, I guess I need to name you guys." Alex tried to think of some names as he started to walk out of the lab, but was stopped by Professor Juniper's aide.

"Told you she was busy earlier. Anyways, take this, it will record all information of pokemon and moemon you see and catch. The professor wants you to record as much as you can into it."

"Alright then, let's check out your data." Alex went outside and released Oshawott and Snivy, the Oshawott looking happy to see him and the Snivy looking at him in disgust.

"I can't believe I have such a weak trainer. You should have just left me be. That slut of a Tepig would have loved to have a dick no matter how small to ride on." The Snivy, yeah, she just had a bitchy attitude.

"Aw, don't be like that. He could be a great trainer if you give him a chance. Besides, he looks really cute." The Oshawott said with a blush at the end.

"Well, I guess I already have names for you two. Snivy will be called Hime1 since she acts like she is one, and Oshawott will be called Mizu2. Now then, let's check your data now."

Pokemon: Snivy

Name: Hime

Gender: Female

Level: 10

Moves: Leech Seed, Absorb, Tackle, Leer, Grass Pledge

Summary: Snivy are typically snobbish, thinking that their trainers are weak. Usually, a Snivy won't ever think their trainers are good enough to handle them until they evolve. It is rare to get Snivys to admit they love their trainers when they actually do and you are more likely to find a shiny pokemon.

"Alrighty, no breaking the fourth wall yet. That's good. What about you Mizu?"

Pokemon: Oshawott

Name: Mizu

Gender: Female

Level: 10

Moves: Water Gun, Pound, Growl, Water Pledge

Summary: Oshawott are pokemon that easily get emotionally attached to their trainer, willing to do anything for them within a short amount of being together. If ignored, they will become lonely and feel unwanted, eventually leaving their trainers believing that they are weak and useless.

_Oh great, a snob and an overly emotional pokemon, this is just great._ "Alright, let's see our third party member." Alex took out the ultra-ball and released the pokemon inside.

"Alright, so the third party member is… a rock?" Alex said looking at the stone in the place of the pokemon that should be there.

* * *

Beast: So what is this mysterious rock? You might already know, but all will be revealed tomorrow. Also, this story takes place between B/W and B2/W2, so this is like B1½/W1½, so its 1 year after B/W and 1 year before B2/W2. This is all part of the plot I want to do, so it should show a transition between the two different versions of Unova.

Jonesie: Can I please eat? It's past lunch time and Casey keeps tying me up every time I get just close to the fridge. And she's not even using rope!t

Casey: That's because even though we don't have rope, we have duct tape!

Beast: Truth be told, you had a 1% chance of sleeping with me. Now its 25% because you like duct tape.

Casey: Yay! *Glomp*

Beast: Now you're at 20%...

Casey: Sowwy…

Beast: You can get back to 25% if you tell the readers about new OCs.

Casey: Okay! OCs are now still being accepted, but the rival position is already filled. Still looking for a childhood 'friend' and a rival for Mel. We also need an OC for a gym leader. Bryce will not be a gym leader anymore, and Homika/Roxie will not be used just because she technically isn't old enough and I have another idea for her that Beast will be using. Other than that, all the gyms are the same from B/W. The best OCs will be used if we get more than 1 OC for a spot. We will also have honorable mentions should there be more than 1. We would have them ourselves, but we're lazy. ^_^

Jonesie: I want the last line of the chapter!

Beast: Too bad.


	3. Chapter 3: Snart Answers to Stupid Qs

Chapter 3: Smart Answers to Stupid Questions

Beast: Yes, yes, hello and welcome to another chapter. Three in the morning and I am bored enough to write another chapter for the story! Hooray! And there is no caffeine involved. Hooray again! This chapter will show the third addition and will introduce an OC created by BeatTheFox and I will have the OC drop in every five or so chapters for whatever reason.

Jonesie: Why am I awake to help you with this?

Beast: Because I only need one person this early in the morning and if that person was Casey, she would most likely rape me when I fell asleep. That is why I need you here to pour freezing water on yourself whenever I start to fall asleep.

Jonesie: And why am I the one with freezing water poured on me?

Beast: It amuses me. Besides, you're the intern and you don't get paid if you don't do your job right.

Jonesie: We don't get paid in the first place!

Casey: Shut up Jonesie, your complaining woke me up. Now before we make another fucking plot in the Author Notes, let's just get to the goddamn reviews. Why do you even bitch so much Jonesie? It pisses me off when I'm tired as fuck.

Jonesie: How did you even get here…

Casey: SHUT. UP. NOW. And let me sleep. Else Beast's worst threat will seem like chocolate milk to what I do to you.

Beast and Jonesie: *Shivering in separate corners*

*Casey has earned a slight bit of respect from Beast. Gained 5% chance of sleeping with Beast*

Casey: Dammit Beast, not in the mood. I'll be happy about this in the morning. Good. Fucking. Night.

Beast: Well, guess I'm answering reviews while changing all my clothes.

Review Responses!

Numbershooter: For OCs, send the info in a PM so I can keep it in the down-low for others. But I would like body details such as height, weight, age, typical type of clothing, eye color, hair color and anything that stands out about them. Although it may not be necessary now, I'm working on making pictures on Paint, so I will see if I can ever get out a picture that looks like the character. Also, will need personality and for pokemon, they can be from anywhere but cannot be legendary. Only one trainer will have one legendary in the entire story. That's a little spoiler, but who will remember it for long, right?... Right?

* * *

Where we left off: "Our third party member is… a rock?"

Now, we see Alex returning and sending out the rock to make sure it was in fact the pokemon in the ultra-ball. Mizu sat off to the side admiring her trainer as Hime was starting to get pissed off.

"Face it dickwad, she duped you. There is no way a rock can be a pokemon let alone fight." Alex looked at Hime for a second before face-palming while Mizu gave Hime a questioning glance.

"If rocks can't be pokemon, then what are Geodudes and Onix and Roggenrola?" This just pissed off the Snivy even more.

"I don't know and I don't give a damn. I mean really, we live in a world where we have trash bags and ice cream as pokemon. Frankly, I don't know if I should fight the first Vanillite I see or eat it! Now if you two dumbasses will excuse me, I want to get some training in before we leave. " And with that, Hime walked off and started kicking poor Lillypup and Patrat ass.

Mizu decided to take a nap since they could not go anywhere until Hime got back, and Alex walked over to the stone to observe it more closely. The stone was about 5 inches tall and looked like a prism. All the edges were smoothed and flawless except for a crack that ran from the tip to half way down the middle. It also looked like if the crack wasn't there, a face would be shown on the surface.

"Alrighty then, if you're supposed to be a pokemon, then let's check your data." Alex put down the stone and pointed his pokedex at it… But before he could scan the stone someone picked it up.

"WHAT THE HELL! WHY WOULD YOU EXTEND THIS CHAPTER MORE THAN IT HAS! Oh, never mind, you're the OC, aren't you?" Alex's rage quickly finding out who this person was and why he's there.

"… Weak." Said this newcomer to the story. He was about 6'1", thin, slightly muscular, bright orange eyes, spiky black hair, and had pale white skin. He wore a full body black suit, military boots, black gloves and a black hooded cloak. The tone in how he said one word showed Alex that this person did NOT fuck around and would take on the world if he needed to.

"What do you mean by weak? I just started out my journey and-" That's as far as Alex spoke before being interrupted.

"You started out not knowing about most pokemon in the world. That's what makes you weak. Here's some help. This pokemon here is called a Spiritomb. He's a Ghost/Dark-type meaning he has no weakness. A Spiritomb will only show its full self when it faces a powerful opponent or when it believes its trainer is strong. This shows that you are weak." The tone in which the newcomer said sounded bored and annoyed, making an irritation mark appear on Alex's head which he proceeded to throw to the ground.

"Alright, first tell me your name so I know what to write on your grave, and then tell me how I can get to talk to this thing."

"My name is Zero, and if your Oshawott over there can defeat my weakest pokemon, then I will help you unlock Spiritomb's power."

"Alright, that sounds good to me. Mizu!" Alex got her attention and waved her over. "Are you ready for your first battle?"

"Really? Yay! Who am I fighting?" Mizu was excited to finally be able to show her power to her master.

"Whatever pokemon or moemon this guy Zero over here sends out. Just be ready for anything." Alex was completely confident in Mizu that he didn't care if she lost because he would know she tried her best.

"You ready to begin?" Zero said across to them. When he received a nod, he took out a pokeball and called out, "Mephisto, come out and use shadow ball!"

A small, purple imp creature popped out of the ball yelling "Sable!" and sent a small blob of energy towards Mizu who dodged it with easy.

Quick Scan: Sableye

Type: Ghost/Dark

Gender: Male

Level: 15

Summary: Sableye are mischievous creatures that can shift through shadows to attack enemies and prey. Sableye are known to having no weaknesses.

"Mizu, water gun as fast as you can!" The Sableye barely managed to avoid it, taking only a small bit of damage to its side.

"Okay then, use double team Mephisto and follow up with shadow claw." The Sableye made several copies of itself, all jumping around Mizu, some looking like they would hit her but end up being copies.

"Mizu, time for some improvising! Use growl to reduce shadow claw's power and then spin in a circle while using water gun!" Mizu let out a growl that was more cute than threatening, but still reduced the attack from what they saw. Spinning around using water gun caused the copies to dissipate and show the real Sableye who looked worn out, most likely from fatigue of running so fast.

"Now then, let's finish this fast by combining water gun and water pledge together!" Mizu unleashed a powerful water gun from her mouth as the water pledge was released from her hands. Making contact with the Sableye sent it flying, knocking it out by the time it hit the ground.

"Yay! We did it Master! We won!" Alex was a little taken aback from her calling him master, but it must be in their nature to call them that.

"Yes we did. You did a wonderful job too! I can only see you getting stronger from here." Mizu blushed from the praise and started to look a little flustered.

"Interesting, you made something up on the spot and managed to win. Maybe you're not as weak as I thought. Anyways, about your Spiritomb. Go ahead and send it out." Alex returned Mizu to her pokeball and sent out the Spiritomb, still in its stone form.

"Alright, come on out Midnight." From the newest pokeball came an Umbreon, a small fox-like creature that was black with yellow rings and red eyes. The stone, somehow sensing a powerful opponent, floated into the air and was surrounded by a black aura. The aura focused into one area and showed a giant, scary face that soon started laughing maniacally. After seeing no reaction, the face flatlined1 and the energy transformed into the shape of a small girl.

"Aw, people and pokemon aren't as easy to scare as they seem." The girl said. "Well, your my trainer, are you going to nickname me yet or not?" All Alex could do was stare at the girl floating near him. She looked like she was 4'9", weight could have been 80 pounds. She looked completely naked, having her body made of the dark purple aura, so her breasts were clearly seen and were easily D-cups.

"Oh, yes, right, a nickname… I'll call you Kumori. Now let's FINALLY check your data.

Pokedex Entry

Pokemon: Spiritomb

Name: Kumori

Gender: Female

Level: 65

Moves: Curse, Shadow Sneak, Dark Pulse, Nasty Plot, Hypnosis, Sucker Punch, Dream Eater, Ominous Wind, Faint Attack

Summary: Spiritomb are not only rare to find, but rare to gain the complete trust of. They are very playful when bored or when they think a fight will only waste their time. Once you gain the trust of a Spiritomb, they are very loyal and will stay in stone form outside of their pokeball for surprise attacks on people meaning to harm their trainers.

* * *

Beast: Yeah, I'm stopping here. Took me two and a half hours and a lot of early morning Disney Channel (do not own), but got it done. Trying to go for 1 or 2 chapters a day to start, and then a chapter every two or three days once I get a good amount done in the story.

Casey: You do me 'we', right Beasty-kun?

Beast: Oh shit. Casey woke up and she's horny. Better go hide. See you guys later if Casey stops trying to rape me.

Casey: Aw, c'mon, I just wanna go for a 'ride' if you know what I mean.

Beast: I know what you mean all too well. (-_-')

Jonesie: Can I end the chapter?

Casey & Beast: NO! Shut up Jonesie! Go get the coffee!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Frying pans just got more deadly

Casey: Hello everybody! Beast passed out from exhaustion from staying up all night so me and Jonesie will be 'hosting' for now. It may last for just this chapter, or it can last several chapters, it all depends if Jonesie will tell me where he put the key to the room Beast is in.

Jonesie: If I did that, Beast would kill me… and then revive me… and then kill me… with goldfish… I don't want to go through that again, please.

Casey: Shut up Jonesie, I'm thinking we can get more reviews. Beast doesn't seem to mind having less than 5 after 3 chapters, but that's unacceptable for my Beasty-kun! He deserves more! Jonesie, take care of the readers while I go off plotting!

Jonesie: Alright I guess. For disclaimer, same as in chapter 1 and 2, and even though we forgot it last chapter, we still own nothing.

Review Responses by Jonesie!

Numbershooter- Not sure what you mean, must have to do with Beast. I think he sent you a PM with the info needed for an OC. Also, thanks for being the only person to review our story so far!

Jonesie: Oh, and for anyone thinking that Alex will cruise through the story now with a level 65 Spritomb will be sadly mistaken. You'll see later what I mean. Let's start this chapter now already.

* * *

Last time:

"Oh, yes, right, a nickname… I'll call you Kumori. Now let's FINALLY check your data."

Pokedex Entry

Pokemon: Spiritomb

Name: Kumori

Gender: Female

Level: 65

Moves: Curse, Shadow Sneak, Dark Pulse, Nasty Plot, Hypnosis, Sucker Punch, Dream Eater, Ominous Wind, Faint Attack

Summary: Spiritomb are not only rare to find, but rare to gain the complete trust of. They are very playful when bored or when they think a fight will only waste their time. Once you gain the trust of a Spiritomb, they are very loyal and will stay in stone form outside of their pokeball for surprise attacks on people meaning to harm their trainers.

Now:

_Interesting, she has no weakness and is very powerful. But why would Mel give me such a strong pokemon just starting out? _Alex looked at the pokedex intently at Kumori's info as Zero and Midnight looked on, both with a passive look on their faces.

"So, you're my new master, huh? You don't look like much, but I trust Mel's judgment. So, how are you planning on gaining my trust, hm? You going to seduce me or something along those lines?" Kumori playfully said.

"Seduce you? Why would I do that? How well did you know Mel and why do you know she gave you to me! Answer me so the readers can know!"

"Well, I won't tell you how well I knew Mel, I'll show you. Not now of course, it looks like we have a fight on our hands. And why she gave me to you, she wasn't the one to choose you, I was the one to choose you." The Spiritomb giggled and turned to face Zero and his Umbreon. "Alright, let's make a deal. You lead me through the battle and if we win, than I won't stay in my stone form unless I'm really tired."

Alex thought about this and agreed. _This will at least make it easier to talk with her. Although, I'm not sure how she will act._

"Alright Zero, you mind if we do another quick battle?" Zero looked at Alex with a bored expression on his face and nodded. To Alex's confusion, Zero returned Midnight and put the pokeball back into his pocket only to pick out another pokeball and release Midnight again.

"Why did you return your pokemon only to send it out again?"

"Who said this was the same pokemon? Alright then, start off with double team followed by iron tail."

"Okay, um, wait for him to get close and then use shadow sneak to get away, then follow it up with omnious wind."

Kumori did just that, melting into the shadows to reappear a few feet away from the group of copies, then blowing a dark wind at them, making the copies disappear and hitting the real one blowing the pokemon back a few feet. As the Umbreon hit the ground, something weird happened as the fox-like pokemon seemed to shimmer and grow hazy. Once it cleared, in its place was a girl, about 5'3" with dark skin. She had long red hair with black that ran down to her back and was tied in a ponytail at the tip with a blue ring. She wore black sweatpants and a long sleeved black shirt that had a black, fuzzy collar.

"Shade, are you alright?" Zero said this with what sounded like concern in his voice. Something Alex didn't think Zero could express in the short time they have known each other.

"I'm alright, just focus on the battle. Now that my ability is worn out, it might be a bit harder to finish this battle." Shade said. Alex was astonished that a pokemon could do that, but at least he knew why the Umbreon was recalled.

"Kumori, hold on one sec, let me check this new pokemon's info." Kumori nodded and eyed the pokemon in front of her warily, ready to attack or defend at a moment's notice.

Pokedex Quick Scan: Zoroark

Type: Dark

Gender: Female

Level: 95

Summary: Zoroark are the evolved forms of Zorua. Both pokemon are not only incredibly rare, but they have the unique ability of being able to turn into any pokemon it has associated itself with. However, the ability is canceled out when the Zoroark or Zorua is hurt.

_Oh shit, this is going to be harder than I thought. How are we going to be able to defeat something 30 levels higher than us? I might have to forfeit._ Alex was starting to be nervous. He didn't want Kumori to get hurt, but he didn't want to seem weak.

"Hey, Kumori, this pokemon's a lot stronger than you; do you want to keep going?" Alex just hoped the Spiritomb wouldn't turn away from him from him asking that. "I mean, I don't want you to be hurt too bad, so you don't have to."

"That's sweet of you to worry about me like that, but don't worry, I have a secret weapon just for moemon. You just tell me to use it and I will count it as you leading me through the battle." Kumori had a strange smirk on her face that Alex couldn't put his finger on what it meant. Alex was a little hesitant about telling her, but realized to have her trust him, he has to trust her.

"Alright then Kumori, go ahead. I don't know what it is, but just try to have her pass out and not have anything serious happen." And with that, Kumori turned into a pitch black cloud and soared at Shade, trapping the Zoroark in the cloud but leaving those around the cloud unable to see within the cloud. Minutes passed and Alex was getting nervous. _What is she doing in there? I hope they are both alright. I wonder how much longer this will take._

Ten more minutes went by, the two moemon had been in the dark cloud for almost a half hour. Finally, the cloud started to dissipate. When the cloud was gone, Alex took a look at the two figures… and was blown back by a massive nosebleed. Shade was laying on the ground with her hands bound by her hairband over her head. Kumori was straddling the Zoroark with one hand down the front of Shades pants and the other hand up her shirt, all the while making out with each other.

"Uh, Kumori, what are you doing?" Alex had a huge blush on his face and was trying not to stare at the his face.

"I did say I had a secret weapon for _moemon_. Besides, all moemon love a nice fuck once in a while." Kumori finally noticed she had an audience and stood up pulling Shade up with her. She gave the Zoroark one last kiss before saying to her. "Don't forget, you can always ask me to do it again if you're around." Shade gave a very red blush before nodding and returning to her trainer.

"Well, that was unexpected. Good luck on your first gym, you will need it." Zero returned Shade to her pokemon and walked up to Alex to shake his hand.

"Yeah, didn't expect Kumori to do that, but I guess its okay. Thanks and you have fun on your journey too." With that, Alex shook Zero's hand and after he walked out of sight, Alex turned to Kumori.

"Alright, so what all did you two do? We couldn't see anything for a full 30 minutes!"

"Aw, did you want to watch? I didn't know my new master was such a perv. By the way, where are we going?" Kumori giggled at Alex's incredibly red face. After a few seconds of staring Alex shook his head and thought where they were going to go.

"Well, since Accumula Town is boring and useless as shit, we can either go to Route 21 to get a new pokemon, or we can go Striaton to visit the Dreamyard and get a gym badge."

"Aren't you forgetting someone?"

"What do you mean? Don't I have both of my moemon with me?"

"You have three dumbass. I'm the third one you apparently forgot about." A voice behind Alex made him turn around. Standing there was a girl who looked similar to Hime, but was taller, had longer hair, and had a longer tail. "Geeze, if you're going to name me Hime, you should at least remember who I am. And I even went out of my way to evolve just for you."

"… Who are you again?" Alex's stupid question just got him a slap in the face followed by a kick in the most unpleasant area to be kicked.

* * *

Beast: And the chapter ends there! Sorry about having this up later than I thought, but the third I had major writers block, fourth was a holiday, and I was busy all day today, so I could only finish this today. I will try to get out another chapter sometime tonight.

Casey: Oh, oh! I have an idea that we all will like! If we can get 10 reviews total, then we will start on a separate fic that will have different lemons between various characters in the story! The first one we will plan on doing is the 30 minute time between Shade and Kumori.

Jonesie: Alright, so an update on OCs, we will still need new OCs, but we have a list of OCs we need. We have changed the plot once again so now we will be having 5 total different girl OCs with Mel included, so we will need 4 total. Right now we have two, but we can always use OCs for other means so send them in if you can. We also will need two gym leader OCs instead of one. As for the friend OC, we will not be using it anymore.

Beast: Also one last thing! Right now, this isn't a CRACK fic, but in a few chapters we will have the randomness just burst out. Just hold on a bit. R&R if you can and see you guys later.


	5. Chapter 5: Are you sure this is legal?

Chapter 5: Are you sure this is legal?

Beast: Welcome to another exciting chapter of-

Jonesie: What is exciting about any of these chapters? It's mostly the same plot as most stories but you changed some parts.

Beast: Jonesie, I won't even start to tell you how wrong you are.

Jonesie: It's true though, and you know it.

Casey: Jonesie, shut up now and I won't tell the readers what I caught you doing earlier.

Jonesie: Yes ma'am…

Beast: Oh, I almost forgot about that, now we both have blackmail on him. Heheh, I wonder what we can make him do…

Casey: Beast, that is not how we are going to use this blackmail. Besides, I caught you doing the same thing while you were-

Beast: And that's where I interrupt you. Okay, let's get the chapter started already. Casey, you go ahead and answer some reviews this time.

Review Responses: Casey-Style!

BeatTheFox- Glad you liked it! I was going to do that with Kumori and another moemon at some point, but decided, the sooner the better right? Although, I had to make sure Beast was asleep when I put it in. No one wants some BS like going curse, hypnosis and then dream eater right? I mean, hypnosis woudn't effect Shade in the first place! Beast doesn't appreciate how much I do for him, but then again, he won't even let me see his dick on purpose even though I keep showing him my breasts for no reason, I even came to work topless and in a thong one time too! *Sigh*, what's a girl to do…

Numbershooter- 'Horny' intern doesn't even describe it. I mean, he's like an anime main character. He has a girl who will do anything he wants, but rather plays his stupid League of Legends game, watch anime, and write this story. Why can't his likes be to sleep with me and write the story? But I do try my best all in the name of love!

* * *

Last time:

"Aren't you forgetting someone?"

"What do you mean? Don't I have both of my moemon with me?"

"You have three dumbass. I'm the third one you apparently forgot about." A voice behind Alex made him turn around. Standing there was a girl who looked similar to Hime, but was taller, had longer hair, and had a longer tail. "Geeze, if you're going to name me Hime, you should at least remember who I am. And I even went out of my way to evolve just for you."

"… Who are you again?" Alex's stupid question just got him a slap in the face followed by a kick in the most unpleasant area to be kicked.

Now:

"Aw, come on Hime, I said I was sorry twenty times. What do you want me to do?" Alex was trying to get back on her good side, because a pissed off moemon is something you do not want to face as his probably-now-shattered-balls know. Who knew one kick could hurt so much?

"And I told you twenty times, you can't make up for it. I thought we could get along better if I evolved, but no, you instead forget all about me." Hime was turned facing the opposite direction of Alex and had her nose in the air, looking as if she might leave at any second.

"Wait, you said before you evolved just for him. Does that mean you wanted to evolve so you could look more attractive? Cause from what I hear, moemon get more attractive the more they evolve." Kumori sat, rather floated, to the side, laughing at Alex's pathetic pleas to get back on the new Servine's good side.

"I can't believe even though I fought a powerful pokemon, I still haven't evolved…" Mizu somehow got out of her pokeball and was sulking because she was now the weakest pokemon on Alex's team.

"Wow, this is priceless!" Somehow, Mel was there in her usual attire, and she was sitting next to Kumori, with both of them laughing.

"Mel, when did you get here? Never mind, I would just like you to not laugh at my misery." Alex was also hoping to get Kumori and Mel to get engaged or something, but that was just wishful thinking.

"I'm not laughing at your misery, I'm laughing with it!" Alex just face-faulted and turned back to Hime.

"What do you want me to do? I mean I'll whatever you want." With that, Hime slowly turned to face him.

"Anything?" Hime had a small smile as she said this.

"Yes, anything, no questions asked." Now Hime had a mischievous glint in her eyes, making Alex start to re-think what he said.

"Well, when you put it that way, I want you to spank Mel ten times." At this Alex blushed a deep red and Mel… got a little wet.

"What? Why do you want me to do that?"

"Didn't you just say no questions asked? Go do it! Oh, and make sure that they're the real sexual kind." Hime had a smirk of victory on her face as Alex turned to where Mel was and walked towards her with an even darker blush on his face.

"Uh, Mel, are you okay with this? I mean, it's okay if you're not…" Alex's response was Mel resting her hands on a nearby tree and slowly pulling down her shorts to reveal the standard pink panties seen in most animes. And so, Alex did the standard anime-ish thing to do: get blown back by a giant nosebleed.

"Geez, are you a virgin? Passing out just by seeing panties, kinda pathetic if you ask me." Surprisingly, Mel was the one to say it since she was the one bending over at a tree with her panties exposed to the world. "Just come on and spank me already you pussy. I've done plenty more kinky things than this, just ask Kumori there."

The Spiritomb blushed at the memories before mumbling, "Funny you should call him a pussy considering yours is probably soaking wet right now."

Of course, this did not go unnoticed by Mel who muttered back, "After the fun we've had, I know there not a dry one within a 5 foot radius from me." Which, coincidently, Kumori was exactly four feet and eleven inches away from Mel at that moment. And yes, Mel was right.

Once Alex got to Mel, he shakily put one hand on her back before patting her ass with the other and calling out "One!"

"You call that a spanking? Re-do that one and hit her harder!" This time, Kumori was the one to yell out.

Alex raised his hand a little higher before bringing it down on Mel's ass, slightly harder, but only letting out a barely audible 'Slap' sound and saying "One!".

"Is that it? Really? That feels more like it hurt you more than it hurt me!" Of course, Mel shouted this one out. After the few insults he got from her, Alex got pissed for no reason other than to move this on faster.

Alex readied himself one more time, raising his hand above his head and brought it down on Mel's ass. Hard. The resulting slap was so loud, Mizu stopped her sulking for a moment to see what was going on.

"One!" Alex said loudly, clearly sounding angry. The next few went a little something like this:

Slap. Gasp. "Two!" Slap. Gasp. "Three!" Slap. Gasp. "Four!" Slap. Gasp. "Five!" Pant. Slap. Gasp. "Six!" Pant. Slap. Gasp. Moan. "Seven!"

Wait, moan? Surely enough, Mel moaned loud enough that Alex stopped and looked at her with a questioning look.

"Are you okay?" Alex asked. He was a little worried that he was going overboard in spanking her.

"Don't worry about me, just hurry and finish up!" Mel said these words so fast that it took a second for Alex to process them.

"Alright. If you say so." Slap. Gasp. Moan. "Eight!" Pant. Slap. Gasp. Moan. "Nine!" Pant. Slap. Gasp. Incredibly loud moan. "Ten!" More moaning followed by panting.

At the end, Mel slid down the tree and laid there, panting with a deep red blush on her face. Alex was about to ask her what was wrong until Kumori grabbed his shoulder.

"Good job there _Master,_ you made her have an orgasm just from spanking her. Maybe you could do that to me sometime." This took some time to process through Alex's head before he looked around. First, he saw Kumori who looked a little tired. Then he saw Mizu with a dazed look on her face and blushing, no longer sulking. Next, he saw Hime was blushing furiously, but she nodded at him before she turned away. He then looked at Mel laying down at the base of the tree, and saw her panties her soaked and there was what he thought was water running down her thighs. Finally, he looked down at his hand and saw that it was covered in the same liquid that was running down Mel's thighs. It was when he put two and two together did he pass out.

* * *

Beast and Casey: *dying of laughter*

Jonesie: I can't believe you had me write this chapter out. And you didn't have to have me change so much, what I had before was good.

Casey: Jonesie, you used 'butt' instead of 'ass', you had a total of 500 words which we extended to 1071 minus Author Notes, and you made this the worst filler chapter ever. If we didn't tell you to do what we wanted you to do, we would lose the little audience we had.

Beast: It's true you know. And great idea on using the blackmail for making him write this chapter, it was worth every bit!

Casey: Didn't I tell you it would be? So, now will you have sex with me?

Beast: No. Just- just… No.

Casey: Aw, come on, I know you want to. I even heard you moaning my name the other day when you were-

Beast: That was another Casey. Anyways, review if you can, updated the need in OCs in chapter 4 so check it out if you haven't already. Review if you can, and most importantly: CASEY STOP TRYING TO TAKE OFF MY PANTS! Whoops, that's not the most important, that honor goes to: SHUT UP JONESIE! We should be getting another chapter up faster than the time between 3 and 4, so expect one within the next 36 hours!


	6. Chapter 6: Finally! Progress!

Chapter 6: Finally! Progress!

Beast: Well, time for another chapter. I just wish the circumstances were a little better. But still, I can't really be complaining since I got five reviews and one of them is from probably my favorite author on the site! Who would have thought the chapter we blackmailed Jonesie to write would have had this effect on the story? But, as promised by Casey, there will be a separate story coming out soon that will be all lemons from different characters in the story. And as a bonus, me and Casey will both be writing a chapter each, me writing the Shade-x-Kumori like we said, and Casey writing a chapter of her own that she won't tell me about yet. We would have Jonesie write one, but he's too embarrassed from the last chapter and he's getting his and Casey's stuff to move into my house. Yes, you heard it right, they are both moving into my house. Casey because she doesn't want to pay $200 a month for her apartment and Jonesie because his mother is working overtime for him and that's not working out. We'll be working out a schedule, and I'll be making sure Casey doesn't start putting her stuff in my room.

Casey: Aw, why can't I sleep in your room?

Beast: Because I have a full-size bed that barely holds me itself, and I don't want to raped in the middle of the night. Alright, since we have five reviews, me and Casey will be splitting them up!

Review Responses, Beast and Casey Anti-Sexy Time! (Casey: I still don't like that name.)

Numbershooter-

Casey: Well, thanks for reviewing for all 5 chapters so far! Without you, the new story wouldn't have been started this earlier probably! And I am probably a rabid fan-girl of Beast's who wants to have so much sex, bunnies would be jealous. Better yet, Loppunies would be jealous!

BeatTheFox-

Beast: If that gives you a nosebleed, than get ready for the first chapter of the new story. Let's just hope you clean the blood fast enough and can regenerate enough fast enough.

MegaMan95-

Casey: Yeah, he really does. I mean, he's half-based on Beast in the real world, but Beast definitely won't pass out when he first see's my juices all over his hands. I know he won't, because he already saw them and actually LICKED them off his hands! Although, he just thought it was water…

Trace-on-

Beast: Another OC? Great! Just send it in whenever you can. I'm going to be putting another one in per city hopefully, so just try to get the info in as fast as you can. Also, I'm glad you're enjoying the story!

Espeon of Shadows-

Beast: *Ahem* To start off… . Now that that's outta my system, I'm happy that you reviewed my story and think it's good! You really do have to be one of my favorite writers, so your review made my day! And as for Hime being a dominatrix, well I'm kinda going by standard anime harem girls and by the type of girls found in your story, so I will be having a regular girl who is the main love interest (Mel), the shy girl who still loves the guy (Mizu), the bitchy girl who can be nice in situations (Hime), the perverted and horny girl (Kumori), and others such as the little girl that says Onii-chan as much as she can, the girl who tries to hog the main character for herself, and then the guy who tries to cock block when he can (this guy will be introduced soon). Also, I was wondering if I could use one of your OCs as a cameo to give a pokemon to Alex, so if I can, just let me know!

Disclaimer in Chapter 1 and 2

* * *

Last Time:

At the end, Mel slid down the tree and laid there, panting with a deep red blush on her face. Alex was about to ask her what was wrong until Kumori grabbed his shoulder.

"Good job there _Master,_ you made her have an orgasm just from spanking her. Maybe you could do that to me sometime." This took some time to process through Alex's head before he looked around. First, he saw Kumori who looked a little tired. Then he saw Mizu with a dazed look on her face and blushing, no longer sulking. Next, he saw Hime was blushing furiously, but she nodded at him before she turned away. He then looked at Mel laying down at the base of the tree, and saw her panties her soaked and there was what he thought was water running down her thighs. Finally, he looked down at his hand and saw that it was covered in the same liquid that was running down Mel's thighs. It was when he put two and two together did he pass out.

Now:

"C'mon, wake up. We need to get the plot to move along." Alex could faintly hear someone's voice, but he rather just sleep even though he wasn't sleeping, he was just finally becoming conscious.

"Alright, if you won't get up, I will make you get up." With that, Alex could feel his belt being unbuckled, followed by his pants being pulled down. When he felt a hand rubbing his crotch, that was the point he sat up to see Kumori in between his legs trying to get him hard.

"Oh, you're awake, and by the looks of things, this guy here is starting to wake up too." Alex quickly stood up on put his pants on along with his belt. He looked around and saw that he was still in the same place he's been for the past few chapters. Mel was gone, Mizu was sleeping curled up at a tree, and Hime was glancing over at where Alex and Kumori were, but trying to avoid eye contact as much as possible.

"Alright, let's just move this along, we need to get to the first city or we will be here forever." Alex returned Hime and Mizu, but when he tried to return Kumori, she just popped right out of ball and told him to carry her in her stone form. Since the stone was actually pretty small, he managed to put it into his front pocket.

After a few hours of walking and encountering several wild pokemon, Alex finally arrived at Striaton City. Since the past few chapters have been over the course of one day, he decided to go to the pokemon center and sleep. Arriving at the center, he was greeted by the usual Nurse Joy on duty, he checked out the shop and bought some Potions and Full Heals, and then got a room where he put his pokeballs down on a nearby along with Kumori in her stone form.

In the middle of the night, a figure appeared next Alex's bed and picked up Mizu and Hime's pokeballs.

"Alright," the figure said, "time to get you stronger, and for you to stop disrespecting our master." Kumori watched Alex sleep for a moment before bending down and kissing him on his cheek.

"Good night, sweet prince" Kumori whispered in his ear right before she opened the door to his room and stepped outside with Mizu and Hime in their pokeballs in her hand.

The next morning, Alex woke up to an unusual but pleasant sight. On his left and right side, Mizu and Hime laid there, both holding one of his arms and their legs wrapped around one of his legs, both softly snoring. On his chest, Kumori laid there with her arms around his waist and her head snuggling into his chest.

_Wow, just for this one moment I'm having, I want to meet this Bill guy who Professor Juniper said was the cause of pokemon turning into moemon and just thank him for the best mistake ever done._ Alex felt so… happy to be able to wake up to three girls holding him. He didn't think about how they got out of their pokeballs, he was just focused on them just being there.

The first one to wake up a few minutes later was Kumori. She sat up and rubbed her eyes and noticed that Alex was staring at her. She smiled and looked down at him before crawling up his body slowly, trying not to wake up the other two moemon.

"Good morning, master" Kumori said, their faces inches apart from each other. Just when Alex thought the two of them were going to kiss, a yawn to his right made him abruptly turn his face away from Kumori, getting a kiss on the cheek instead.

"Hmm? Oh, good morning." Mizu stretched her arms above her head before getting up out of bed and going around to Alex's other side where Hime was still sleeping.

"C'mon Hime, wake up, Alex needs to get up so we can get going." Mizu only received a grunt as a reply. Later, after Kumori and Mizu pried Hime off of Alex, they walked to what was supposedly the gym, only to learn that the gym was no longer a gym.

"What do you mean the Pokemon League is shutting this down as a pokemon gym but keeping it open as a café!" Alex was beyond pissed. Finally getting to the first city only to find out that it's not becoming an official gym anymore.

"That's right. We had more visitors for eating than battling that the League decided to just move the gym to another place. But don't worry, you can still go to Nacrene City for a badge, they still have a month before they vote on having it as a museum instead of a gym, so you can at least get the Normal Badge there." The man in front of him was Cilan, one of the original gym leaders before it was turned into a café. "Well, since you're already here, why don't you come and have some lunch. Since we have several people upset this is no longer a gym, we compensate by giving them free meals for three days. Although we get packed, we have plenty of tables with just one person at them so you can go sit down and talk with whoever you want, one of my brother, Chili or Cress, will come by to take your order."

Since Alex was hungry that morning and he hasn't had anything to eat due to author's not writing in him eating anything, he gladly accepted and walked around looking for a place to eat.

"Hey, you there, are you looking for a table to sit at?" Alex turned around to look at the speaker sitting at a nearby table.

"Why, yes I am. Could I sit with you?" Alex got a nod from the speaker and he sat down in front of the person.

"So, tell me about yourself. Don't be afraid to leave out any interesting details since it takes a while to get an order in here. This place is incredibly popular across all of Unova you know."

* * *

Beast: Yep, I will leave this as it is here. I would like to go ahead and work on the new story and I actually don't know what OC to introduce here, so when we pick up in the next chapter, I will introduce an OC of someone. Sorry about the cliffhanger, I wasn't sure how to end the chapter without going well over the limit that I want to try to stay at, so I just stopped there.

Casey: Yeah, we were at a loss, but this would have to do we decided. So, in our next story, the first chapter will be the Shade-x-Kumori written by Beast, and the second chapter will be a chapter I wrote, involving Kumori and another moemon, but not saying who. Although, it may already be obvious from what happened at night in this chapter. That's all the hints I'm giving you so good luck and see you then!

Beast: Yeah, take care, and hope that Casey doesn't get horny enough from her own writing that she tries to rape me yet again.


	7. Chapter 7: STOP! Trolling Time!

Chapter 7: STOP!... Trolling Time!

Beast: Fuck…fuck…fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck fuck- Wait, this is M rated, right? Good. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck …FUCK! No, that was not me having sex or getting BJ under the table, that was me realizing how I started the story saying I was going to continue it, and here I am a whole month later on the next chapter! But I have an excuse, so you can't blame it on me! Now, to make sure this isn't one long paragraph of me, Jonesie will tell you the events leading to our long break!

Jonesie: I'm actually doing this because I didn't get to say anything last chapter, so here I am. After me and Casey moved in, the business got started up more and now we have about 13 total people. We all sold our apartments since Beast was the only one with an actual house, and we bought an old frat house with 4 stories and a basement, so 5 floors total. Even though we bought the house straight up with the money we got, after shopping for food, we became broke and worked our asses off for 3 weeks, got our money, and now we can go at a leisurely pace. Now, for the juicy stuff. Beast finally went out with Casey, they came back late, had sex, and now Casey is no longer interested in Beast but Beast is now in love with Casey. Apparently, with the arrival of one of our new workers, she is now bi along with the other girl who I will put in our bio section in a sec. We also have a guy that is bi, a guy that is full-on gay and is proud of it and tells it to everyone where it gets annoying, identical twin brother and sister who I guess are dating (they call it WINcest), a black guy who is silent but has the biggest stash of hentai known to man and tentacle kind (don't look that stuff up kids) plus he is known to get laid eight times a week. Then we have the-girl-who-turned-Casey-bi's little sister by three years, the last new girl is a self-proclaimed mega slut (don't ask) who gets even hornier than Casey during her Beast-crush phase, our fix-it nerd who knows how to fix any electronic device as well as hack almost anything he wants and is a friend of Beast's, and last we got our second insanest person on the staff only behind Beast and is also a childhood friend of his.

Beast: Now, wasn't it better to have him say all that so I can kill him for all the private information he gave out? Now, before the bios, I want to say these are REAL PEOPLE with nicknames. Jonesie and Casey are the only exceptions because they are the interns who still DO NOTHING OF HELP (for the company at least). We aren't trying to bash on stereotypes or types of people even if it seems we are. These are the actual personalities of these people. Now, we will have the bios, Casey will respond to the ONE review we got for last chapter, and then we will get the disclaimer done. Then you may have your story. Also, over the next 5 chapters, I will have two people introduced at a time instead of slamming all 10 in your faces, so expect more people to be in the AN section next time.

BIOGRAPHIES OF BEI WORKERS (these will be on the main profile, so you can read them here or there if you want):

(Nick)Name: Beast

Occupation: The BAWSS

Personality: Strict yet playful. Will act like a 5 year old until time to be serious. Prevents work meetings from turning to orgies (except that one time…)

Sexuality/Boyfriend or Girlfriend: Straight / Single

(Nick)Name: Casey

Occupation: Intern of Beast

Personality: Mischievous and lazy. Getting people to do work for her and now has a habit of saying things to make people horny for no reason.

Sexuality/Boyfriend or Girlfriend: Bi / Working on getting Yoko (see further down)

(Nick)Name: Jonesie

Occupation: Intern of Beast

Personality: 3 Bs- Boring, bland, and bastardly. We only keep him around because he works the hardest and can easily be bribed for info.

Sexuality/Boyfriend or Girlfriend: Unknown / HAHAHAHA! Oh wait, you think he can actually get one?... No one knows anyways.

(Nick)Name: Yoko

Occupation: Worker

Personality: Queen Ice Bitch in simple terms. Never dates, has more one night stands than there are days in a year, and longest relationship is rumored to be 5 hours. Loves Gurren Lagann and dresses like Yoko from the anime around the office, therefore the nickname of Yoko.

Sexuality/Boyfriend or Girlfriend: Not bi, but she will do whoever she wants to / Not interested in dating

(Nick)Name: Shad (said as Shade)

Occupation: Worker

Personality: Silent yet perverted and also the only black guy in the building. He can be as perverted as he wants and yet still gets ladies of all ages and races to sleep with him. Found having sex with Jenn on the meeting table… in the middle of the meeting. He introduced himself as Shad, so that's the only name we have from him.

Sexuality/Boyfriend or Girlfriend: Straight / Jenn, though they say they are 'strict fuck-buddies'

(Nick)Name: Jenn

Occupation: Worker

Personality: The self-proclaimed mega slut. Has had sex during a meeting on the meeting table with Shad. Gets horny 3x easier than Casey, and is known to 'rub' off while working… continuously. She always wanted to be named Jennifer, so she tells everyone to call her Jenn (with two 'n's ). We don't ask, we just do.

Sexuality/Boyfriend or Girlfriend: Bi / Claims to be strict fuck-buddies with Shad

(Nick)Name: Tsunyan

Occupation: Yoko's Sister

Personality: Does not work unless told to by Yoko. Complete Tsundere, and if she's dating someone, can be the scariest Yandere ever. Putting the two together we got Tsunyan, so that's her nickname.

Sexuality/Boyfriend or Girlfriend: Straight / Only dates when her sister is dating (AKA never)

(Nick)Name: Tenchi

Occupation: Worker / Hacker

Personality: Perverted. 80% of things he says are plain perverted. He is actually a pretty good hacker, just not able to access other people's computers or accounts yet. His nickname is based off his standard game name.

Sexuality/Boyfriend or Girlfriend: Straight / Taken by a girl who calls herself Kira (She loves DN. A LOT)

(Nick)Name: Jokillin

Occupation: Wildcard

Personality: This guy just LOVES the Joker. He's our wild card because he never does what you think he will do. Sadly, he's horrible at jokes and that's why we call he's called the Joke Killing Killer, shortened to Jokillin

Sexuality/Boyfriend or Girlfriend: Straight / Never dated before

(Nick)Name: Shounen

Occupation: Worker

Personality: Completely normal until you know he is dating his twin sister. Loves Shounen Jump Mag therefore the name.

Sexuality/Boyfriend or Girlfriend: Straight / Shojo

(Nick)Name: Shojo

Occupation: Worker

Personality: Completely normal until you know she is dating her twin brother. Loves Shojo Beat Mag therefore the name.

Sexuality/Boyfriend or Girlfriend: Straight / Shounen

(Nick)Name: Sponge

Occupation: Worker

Personality: Sponge is very interesting. His hair is yellow and looks like a sponge, therefore the name, but the most interesting part about him is that he is a burly and buff guy with a squeaky voice. And no, he has not taken any drugs. His criminal record proves that.

Sexuality/Boyfriend or Girlfriend: Bi / Single

(Nick)Name: Gay and Proud (yes, we really do call him that)

Occupation: Worker

Personality: Annoying. We know he's gay, we don't mind that at all because we believe in individuality in our company, but he doesn't have to keep reminding everyone of that fact. Insisted that everyone call him by that nickname.

Sexuality/Boyfriend or Girlfriend: Homo / Single

Casey Returns to Answer Your Reviews!

Numbershooter: Yeah, I was like that. Still the same, just a bit less horny right now as well as less Beast obsessed. Although, wait until you meet Jenn, heheh… But anyways, thank you for being the only person to review this chapter! You get internet pie-flavored pie!

Disclaimer: We do not own Pokemon, Moemon, FFN. or any refrences to shows or books. We do, however, own our own personal OCs not sent in by people and Beast has his own company.

Beast: ON WITH THIS MUTHAFUCKING STORY! WHOO-HOO!

* * *

Last Time:

Since Alex was hungry that morning and he hasn't had anything to eat due to author's not writing in him eating anything, he gladly accepted and walked around looking for a place to eat.

"Hey, you there, are you looking for a table to sit at?" Alex turned around to look at the speaker sitting at a nearby table.

"Why, yes I am. Could I sit with you?" Alex got a nod from the speaker and he sat down in front of the person.

"So, tell me about yourself. Don't be afraid to leave out any interesting details since it takes a while to get an order in here. This place is incredibly popular across all of Unova you know."

Now:

Cilan, Cress and Chili were all cooking up a storm to try and fill their customers' orders as soon as possible before more arrived when suddenly:

"WHAT!? You know what, fuck you! I'm a scientist! Salamence, Hyper Beam his ass!" With that, a roar sounded out, and a brief second later, a guy was sent through the wall separating the kitchen from the dining area. The guy who was in the pile of rubble happened to be no other then our main character, Alex.

"Jeeze Fen, all I said was that it didn't likely to be able to see what our pokemon dream." Alex said standing and brushing himself off, somehow without a scratch. "Oh, is that our food? Man, that looks good!" And now he's eating like he did not just get hit through a wall with a Hyper Beam.

Fen, as Alex called the purple-haired lady that just had her Salamence blast his ass, was pissed for being temporarily ignored and started to yell even louder, causing some of the customers to leave to change their pants. "Don't call me Fen! My name is Fennel! And you did say that, but you said it while laughing at my face and calling it a stupid idea!" Fennel was starting to grow incredibly red with anger. Luckily Alex spotted a loophole… in the author's writing.

"Well, the author never wrote that I did that, only wrote that you said I did that. Therefore, you have no proof." With that fourth wall cracking statement, Fennel got even more pissed off and yelled to him, "The fuck are you talking about? Actually, never mind, just take this pokemon I was researching and don't come back to my lab!" She through a pokeball at his head, hitting him square in the forehead (HEADSHOT) and left the building leaving a very confused Salamence to wonder what it was still doing there.

_Thank Arceus for lazy authors,_ thought pretty much everyone as they sweat-dropped from the scene they just witnessed. Alex picked up what looked to be a pokeball, but being green with a blue net pattern showed that it was a nest ball. That could mean either its part water or bug, and since he already has a water-type… "Alright, come on out," Alex called, hoping that this would be a rare moemon that scientists were observing. Now, imagine his disappointment if he didn't get another moemon for his harem-

"Shuckle!" Exclaimed what looked like a rock with worms poking out of it. The strange, almost never seen before pokemon looked at its new trainer, jumped high into the air, landed on Alex's head, and promptly fell asleep. The whole room dead-panned as everyone was expecting a more epic pokemon to come out and didn't even notice the Salamence create another hole in the restaurant's walls.

Now, in order to get a good reading on a pokemon or moemon for the pokedex, you must point the scanner directly at the pokemon or moemon and must have at least 95% of the creature in the viewer. So, in other words, Alex had to get the Shuckle off his head. But one does not simply remove a Shuckle from their head, Alex soon learned after ten grown men tried to help pry off the appendages from our hero's head, only to have the appendages in the same spot thirty minutes later. Now, Alex was desperate to get the pokemon off his head, so he left the restaurant through the Salamence-shaped hole in the wall on a journey to remove the Shuckle. Which would have been exciting except for the fact that he was just embarrassed so he left the restaurant to get away from all the people.

Once he was a safe distance away, he plopped down on a bench, and released his other three pokemon who each had their own reaction. "What is that on your head? Does it hurt? Where did it come from? Why is Kumori laughing so hard? Why is Hime running away?" Mizu's reaction was to ask as many questions at once when she saw the sleeping rock-worm-thing on her master's head. Kumori thought it was hilarious no one thought of the simplest way to get the pokemon off his head, and so she decided to sit down nearby and watch. Hime, on the other hand, was running behind a tree as soon as she realized that thing was a bug. Yes, poor bitchy Hime is afraid of bugs.

"T-That's a-a Sh-Shuckly r-right?" Hime asked, stuttering her question, "The b-b-bug and rock-type pokemon, r-right?" When Mizu heard the typing, she immediately thought of a plan that in her mind couldn't possibly fail.

"Don't worry! Since its part rock, I'll use my new water move on it to knock it out! That should have it let go!" As soon as Mizu said that, Kumori stopped laughing immediately and tried to stop Mizu.

"No, wait! You don't understand, it's defences are-" Was all Kumori could say before Mizu finished charging her new attack.

"Hydro Pump!" Mizu shouted, unleasing a torrent of water from both her hands and her mouth towards the Shuckle. Alex tried to jump out of the way, but was too late and ended up on his back near the bench. With Shuckle still on his head.

"I tried to warn you," Kumori said, "that Shuckle are incredibly powerful for having the best defense a pokemon could have naturally. Now, before another plan goes wrong, just return the shuckle to its ball and then send it back out again." Of course, Alex facepalmed on this, but being on the ground, he gave her a thumbs up, returned the Shuckle and stood up.

"You know what? For all the trouble you have caused me today, I'm going to name you Troll, because that's what you are, whether its intentional or unintentional. Alex sent Troll back out and got out his pokedex and scanned the Shuckle before it could jump on his head again,

Pokedex Entry

Pokemon: Shuckle

Name: Troll

Gender: Male

Level: 60

Moves: Bide, Constrict, Wrap, Rest, Gastro Acid, Rollout, Power Trick, Bug Bite, Power Split, Guard Split

Summary: Shuckle are very docile in nature. Even though they have low attack, speed and health stats, they more than make up for it in defense with the highest recorded being almost 750 on a scale up to 999. Female Shuckle have been rare and few, but it has been discovered they are very masochistic in bed.

* * *

Beast: Well, that was my longest chapter, mostly from the AN up top. Please, we may have jobs, but reviews are important to my other workers, so please don't make me have Jonesie do the rest of the chapters. Also, I'll throw in a Q&A for the newcomers each chapter. The twins will be in the next AN, so feel free to send in any questions to them so we can all get to know them better! And one last thing: OCs are still needed. I know I said an OC was going to be in this chapter, but I decided to throw in Fennel with a Salamence instead (don't ask why a Salamence). With FFN being annoying, I only have the OC info from Numbershooter, BeatTheFox, and CCXwarfare. I know there was more, but that's all there is, so if you still want your OC in, please re-send the info to me a second time in case I can't find the info ever again for some reason. Anyone who hasn't sent in an OC and would like to, feel free to! We never find any type of OCs stupid, even one from a whole 'nother story in the Naruto area where the guy's name was Bob and was a samurai and that was all we knew about him. He was still cool to us. Not other people, but to us, yeah. Anyways, please review so we don't have more Jonesie chapters and we can have the minds of 13 people instead of 3!


	8. Chapter 8: Shit gets fake

Chapter 8: Shit gets fake

Beast: *Sigh* Y NO ONE REVIEW!? Now that that's outta my system, let's talk about a new review system my workers want to start, so I want to see how it works. Since we actually already have up to chapter 15 written, we can get this story filled with chapters, but one of my personal pet peeves is having more chapter than reviews in a story. We will start at an average pace of one every 3 days, but if we get 3 reviews for a chapter, then you wait only 2 days, and you get to wait only 1 day should we get 6 reviews. Now, it may sound a bit greedy on my part, but we are all planning to do all 5 regions in this one story, meaning no sequel stories (minus the lemon side adventures, more on that in a bit), and there is planned to be about 500 chapters or more, so in order to curb my pet peeve, we are trying to get as many as we can so I can put up the next chapter as soon as I can.

Casey: Now, about that lemon side story thing. We had the chapters done, but the computer broke, so we got it fixed, but the files couldn't be saved, so we still need to redo them since we had to work and re-vamp the house/workplace.

Beast: Alright, so we will respond to my favorite person in the site who's not an author, introduce you to Shojo and Shounen, and we have someone we tortured for misbehavior and would like to make an apology.

Replying To Our Review by: Numbershooter

(ok question to the hacker(tenchi was it):by DN you mean dueling network right if not what?)

Tenchi: Yeah, my name's Tenchi, and DN is three things, dueling network one of them. The other two are Death Note and Dragon's Nest (game by Nexon). In my gf's case, its Death Note. I personally love Dragon's Nest and for Dueling Network, talk to Jokillin about that, he's out 2nd best Yu-Gi-Oh player. At age 25, you would expect him to stop playing after he started playing when he first bought a Kaiba and Yugi starter deck on the release date. For Japan.

(beast: after one time with cassie you turned her bi wow.)

Beast: It's not my fault! TT^TT Yoko is the definition of beauty and sexiness put together and sexiness had the baby. It may not makes sense, but that is what you would say too if you saw her.

(everyone else that is new:hi nice to meet you.)

Everyone in that group: Hi! Keep up your reviews if you can! It pretty much seems this story runs on your reviews! (That is just the cherry in the sewer of how they actually said hi back.)

(cassie: you are finally over beast aw i am going to miss that of this)

Cassie: Oh, don't worry, there will be plenty more of those going on, just not all by me. Now, time to go stalk my beautiful Yoko some more! ^w^

(the other person(personally nicknamed douch):i have nothing to say to you but have to make you fill imported)

Beast: Now, considering only one person is left, I'm guessing that's Jonesie. He's not gonna be writing for a while and you'll see why.

Introductory of Shounen of Shojo!

Beast: Well, I would have them talk here, but considering most of my stories are heavy on the AN and they are in a closet that for some reason is locked, so we will get on with the story and have the apology at the ending AN. Enjoy!

Previously:

"You know what? For all the trouble you have caused me today, I'm going to name you Troll, because that's what you are, whether its intentional or unintentional. Alex sent Troll back out and got out his pokedex and scanned the Shuckle before it could jump on his head again,

Pokedex Entry

Pokemon: Shuckle

Name: Troll

Gender: Male

Level: 60

Moves: Bide, Constrict, Wrap, Rest, Gastro Acid, Rollout, Power Trick, Bug Bite, Power Split, Guard Split

Summary: Shuckle are very docile in nature. Even though they have low attack, speed and health stats, they more than make up for it in defense with the highest recorded being almost 750 on a scale up to 999. Female Shuckle have been rare and few, but it has been discovered they are very masochistic in bed.

Now:

Our hero is now in a museum and bored as fuck right now. After getting that info on his newly acquired Shuckle, he did some intense training with Hime and Mizu for their first gym battle. He also had a long walk to Nacrene City filled with trainer battles, but neither of those are worth talking about. So why is Alex being bored in a museum worth talking about? Well…

_Flashback!_

"What do you mean I'm late? The last day is today isn't it?" Alex was yelling at the now-previous gym leader Lenora who just told he was late by 5 minutes.

"It is, but it's getting closed down now so we can get rid of the museum. Don't you see the construction crew waiting on the sides of the building to demolish it?" Lo and behold, there had to be 100 workers with pickaxes ready to start hitting the building and they were getting impatient.

"… Never mind them. Why would you destroy your own museum anyways? Did it not make enough money?" The workers, due to their impatience, were now walking away grumbling that they couldn't destroy stuff at the rate this was going.

"No, actually, it made too much. Me and my husband don't know what to do with it all, so we're destroying the museum just to rebuild it exactly as it is." Lenora looked ecstatic at the idea of a new museum that would look just like the one she already has.

"You know that's a stupid idea, right? Just add an extension to the building and then use whatever money is left to build something useful like an orphanage or donate the money to charity."

"We would, but with this idea and getting rid of the gym part, we can have a total of 5% extra space!" Lenora had stars in her thinking of what that 5% extra space could be used for (which in all honesty wasn't much).

"So then, where are all the artifacts and exhibit items at?" Alex couldn't see any storage container unit nearby that could hold all the stuff the museum has.

"Oh, it's all inside." The look on Alex's face had Lenora explain her thought process. "We decided that everyone must be tired of seeing the same stuff over and over again, so this will allow us to show more stuff without worrying about what we were going to get rid of anyways! Hey, where are you going? Wait, don't go in the museum! We will have to delay the destruction until you get out!"

"That's the whole point you crazy woman!" Alex yelled at her before slamming the doors to the museum shut.

_End Flashback_

And so out of the goodness of our hero's heart, he waited in the museum to protect the ancient relics within it until Lenora managed to regain her senses if she ever had any. Luckily, Alex just happened to have a deck of cards and so he let out Kumori, Hime and Mizu to play some cards, but eventually he got bored and decided to leave the three of them to their game while he went and looked around.

There weren't that many points of interest except for the fossilized dragon-type Pokemon that was recently discovered to be a Dragonite, a pokemon found in the Johto and Kanto regions. The last room Alex visited also held the most interest to him. In the room was a machine on the far side of the room and on either side were fossils of pokemon. The machine had an area for the fossil to be placed, an enclosure that looked like held a pokeball, and a screen that displayed in bright red letters:

'POKEMON RESTORATION DEVICE POWER LEVEL CRITICAL. USES LEFT: 1'

_I guess this is where they revived ancient pokemon from their fossils. Well, since Lenora won't be needing any of these, I might as well take advantage of the situation._ Alex looked around at the different fossils in the room. He couldn't tell what pokemon were in any of them so he just picked up one randomly and brought it to the machine. He lifted up the glass case to the machine and placed the fossil inside. After pressing a few buttons, he managed to open up the small enclosure and got a prompt to insert a pokeball.

The problem there? He didn't have an empty pokeball anywhere. Whoops. Alex just left the fossil in the machine and walked back to where his moemon were still playing cards.

"Hey, do any one of you know where we can find a pokeball nearby?" Kumori immediately answered him without looking up from the game.

"No, none of us have the Pickup ability. Besides, haven't you been handed your pokemon so far? Why do you want to try to catch one?" Alex couldn't tell what card game they were playing, but it seemed to be hard since Kumori was focusing on her cards intensely and Hime was looking severely irritated. Mizu, on the other hand, was smiling and quietly humming to herself as if this was Go Fish (which Alex could tell this was definitely not).

"Well, I found this machine that restores pokemon from their fossils, so I wanted to get another pokemon before Lenora destroyed the machine. The problem is I need a pokeball for the pokemon that gets restored."

"Why don't you ask the guy that just came in the door? He might have an extra ball." Mizu, who looked up from her game after hearing of a possibility of a new friend, was looking at a figure standing in the doorway to the main museum room. Sure enough, when Alex turned around, there was a guy standing there.

The guy had black hair with a small spike-like protrusion, glasses, had a white shirt under a blue blazer that was half open and a red tie as well as black pants and shoes the same color as his blazer.

"Hey, who are you, why are you here, are you going to rape me, and do you have any extra balls?" Without missing a beat, the person replied.

"I'm Cheren, gym leader in training. Lenora told me that someone ran into the museum so I decided to check out what was going on. I do not have any sexual interest in males whatsoever, and why would you like to know my anatomy?" Of course, the last one confused Alex, but got Kumori to stop her game of cards and start laughing, which in turn had Alex realize what he said.

"Um, I mean pokeballs."

"Oh, well, I do have an extra Premier Ball, but since these are incredibly rare these days, it will be hard to give it up. Tell you what, since Lenora is planning on arresting you as soon as you leave the museum and you need a gym badge, we can make a deal. If you can beat all three of my newest pokemon at once with only one of yours, then you can have this spare badge I have as well as the Premier Ball." Alex was interested now that there were stakes involved. Although, he was a bit skeptical about this.

"But what about if I lose?" At this Cheren smirked at him.

"I guess you aren't as stupid as you look. If I win instead of you, then you will plead guilty to the breaking and entering charges when we are in court and take the full 2 years in prison as long as a suspension of your trainer license." Kumori was nervous for her trainer. If he lost this battle, then her, Mizu, Hime, and Troll all have to be taken away from Alex since he will no longer be able to legally train pokemon.

"Hey, maybe we should try to negotiate a better deal-" Kumori started to say to Alex.

"Alright, I'll do it. There's no way you can beat me though." Kumori stared at Alex and then proceeded to drag him away to talk to him.

"What the hell!" She exclaimed when they were out of earshot. "Do you know what will happen if you lose! Not only are you sent to jail, but we are taken away from you since you will no longer be able to train pokemon legally anymore! Did you not think this through at all? Is it really worth the risk of losing us just to get a gym badge we can get later?" Now, Kumori had tears in her eyes and couldn't look directly at Alex. Next thing she knew, he had his arms around her.

"Don't worry, I did think this through." Alex whispered in her ear. "Mizu told me all about the training you gave her and Hime and I appreciate you helping me. I accepted the deal because I'm confident your training will help me defeat whatever he throws out. I would never do anything that would separate me from you or any of my other pokemon."

With that, Alex walked back to where Cheren was while Kumori watched him walk away with a blush on her face. In front of Cheren were three pokemon, a Pidove, a Patrat, and a Lillypup, all males it seemed since they were all in their pokemon forms. Mizu and Hime were waiting to learn who Alex would be using against Cheren.

"Alright, I will be using these three pokemon at once. You choose one and the others will watch as the one you picked will fight all three at once, almost like a triple battle but with you having only one pokemon." Alex was having a hard time deciding who to use himself, but when he saw the Pidove, he instantly knew the best choice.

"Alright, Mizu let's go. Sorry Hime, but that Pidove will beat you easily even if you are an evolved form higher." Hime just nodded her head and stepped back to watch as Mizu stood in front of her master in a battle-ready pose, both of her scalchops in her hands.

"Alright, now that you're ready, feel free to take the first move to start off the fight." Cheren knew that Alex would choose Mizu, so he decided to go defensively with Patrat and Lillypup while having Pidove attack from above.

"Okay, let's get this done fast. Start off with Swords Dance!" As he said this, Mizu started to dance, waving her scalchops around. what was happening that was almost hard to see was that she would cross the scalchops together to sharpen them ever so slightly, but while dancing she had plenty of time to sharpen them up.

Cheren knew what was going on, and he knew that he had to stop her dancing and fast. "Pidove, use Featherdance!" The Pidove then started its own dance, but as it danced in the air above Mizu, excess feathers floated down onto Mizu, eventually tickling her to the point of laughing hard enough to stop the Swords Dance.

"Okay, now that its close by, hit it with Ice Beam!" This caught Cheren off guard. How does a Dewott learn Ice Beam? There was no way this rookie trainer somehow already had TMs starting out.

"Pidove, counter with Air Slash! Lillypup, use Helping Hand to add to its power and Patrat use hypnosis!" Hopefully the powered up Air Slash could cancel out the Ice Beam and then he could put Mizu to sleep to get an easy win. But Alex had other ideas than that.

"Okay, aim the Ice Beam at Patrat instead and take the Air Slash head on!" Cheren started to panic. Why would he change the target to his Patrat instead of moving her out of the way? Unless…

"Patrat, use Detect and get away from that Ice Beam!" Patrat was able to get away from the Ice Beam, but there was now a line of ice going from Mizu straight to where Lillypup and now Patrat were at. Of course! That's why he had Mizu take the Air Slash, no other point in enduring the hit unless he had that one move…

"Mizu, use the ice to get close to Patrat and Lillypup and use Revenge!" Of course, as it turns out, he did have that move. Since Mizu got hit by Air Slash, Revenge would be twice as strong and combined with that Swords Dance, it would take out both Lillypup and Patrat unless he could do something.

_Alright Cheren, think, you're practically a Pokemon genius. Lillypup gave too much power to Pidove so he's going to need a bit more time to recover all of his power. Guess I'll have to risk it._ "Patrat, prevent that Dewott from hitting Lillypup! Lillypup, use Work Up!" Patrat took the Revenge hit, knocking him out, but Cheren had a plan to follow.

"Now then, return Patrat. Lillypup, avenge your friend with Retaliation! Pidove, charge up a Sky Attack!" With Lillypup back to full strength and the defeat of a friend, Retaliation dealt a huge amount of damage to Mizu, but not yet knocking her out, just barely conscious.

"Alright, thanks Cheren! Now Mizu, use your Torrent ability to power up a Water Pulse and send it at Lillypup!" Cheren called for the dog pokemon to dodge, but it was too late and now Lillypup had fainted as well.

"You did a good fight, but it's to end this. Pidove, finish it with your Sky Attack!" Alex wasn't going to easily admit he lost though.

"Mizu, put all your power into this last attack and use Aqua Tail!" Again, Cheren was surprised a Dewott could know such a powerful move at its level right now. But now, it didn't matter as the two pokemon collided, sending them both to the floor.

Beast: And that's your cliffhanger. Now, we got our two 'lovebirds' to get out of the closet and they would like to say a couple of words.

Shojo: Hi hi everyone! Thank you for your views and reviews and we hope that you can keep reviewing to let us know how our work collaboration story is going on!

Shounen: Yeah, what she said. Also, please let us know if our ANs are too much of an annoyance since it seems most of the story is about us and not what we are intending to talk about. All feedback is appreciated, but try to keep any flames low and constructive. We want you to enjoy reading this story as much as we enjoy writing, so don't hesitate to let us know of anything that isn't allowing you to fully enjoy the story.

Casey: Now, in chapter 7, we gave a biography of the people in the company and re-reading it, we discovered someone- JONESIE- messed with it and made it seem to people we were insulting some of those kinds of people. Even though other people might not agree with other peoples choices, we here believe that everyone is equal so if anything seems like we are making fun of something that should definitely not be made fun of, let us know and we will do whatever we can to fix it. Now, apologize to the nice readers.

Jonesie: I'm sorry nice readers. Please forgive me. Also, please help me, she is really starting to scare me.

Beast: She's been scaring us all lately man. Anyways, read and review everyone and send in any questions to any of our staff members if you want to! The next chapter may be on hold due to work but then again maybe not!


	9. Chapter 9: Plot twists? In this story?

Chapter 9: Plot Twists? In this story? Bull.

Casey: Hey everyone! Beast got sick, so I'm going to host this chapter and possibly the next one too! Alright, less AN without Beast, so here's two more of our new staff!

Tenchi: Yeah, I'm a hacker if you did or didn't already know, but don't ask me to prove it, I won't. I'm not really sure why he wanted my help for the story because everyone was automatically involved with at least something. Other than being able to type pretty fast, I don't have anything to contribute like the others do, so I'll just see what he needs me for as go along the road.

Jokillin: Why so serious? No, really, why is this story acting like a serious story when it obviously has the word CRACK in the title? But I guess that's why I'm here, so I can help Beast bring in the insanity he's too scared to put in! Jeeze, for a guy that's less sane than me, you would expect him not to be so afraid of the small things in life.

Casey: Alright, so since Beast isn't here to prevent anything, I will give you all some spoiler lines of the next chapter at the end! But be sure to read the whole chapter here or else they won't make sense. Or they might. MY head's fuzzy, Beast might have given me his cold. :/

Reply Corner!

Numbershooter-

Jokillin: 1. Great to hear that from the guy who's keeping this story alive! 2. Someone who understands me! *Sob* But yeah, Jonesie is a douche, that's why Casey has him in 'anti-douche' training right now. We don't know what goes on; we just know that Jonesie can scream pretty loud.

Previously:

"You did a good fight, but it's to end this. Pidove, finish it with your Sky Attack!" Alex wasn't going to easily admit he lost though.

"Mizu, put all your power into this last attack and use Aqua Tail!" Again, Cheren was surprised a Dewott could know such a powerful move at its level right now. But now, it didn't matter as the two pokemon collided, sending them both to the floor.

Now:

Both pokemon stood up, swaying as if they were going to fall over at any second. Then, Mizu pulled a Sitrus Berry out and ate it.

"Yep. Convenient plot devices at their best right there." Cheren knew that it was over for him, his Pidove didn't have the energy to fight any more and Mizu gained almost a fourth of hers back, and Cheren forgot to bring his potions because he wasn't expecting such a hard fight.

"Alright, return Pidove. Looks like you won here Alex, you're pokemon will still defeat mine no matter what move I used next. Well, as promised, here's your items and I'll be on my way to talk with Lenora." With that, Cheren handed Alex the Premier Ball and his badge.

"Thanks Cheren, you're not that much of an asshole that my brother says you are." Alex then realized what he said and wished he had a magical dagger that could send him back in time.

"Brother? I'm not aware of anyone I know having any siblings, what's his name?" Alex panicked even more.

"What are you talking about? I never said I had a brother. Well, I better go get my new pokemon from its fossil, kthnxbai!" Alex then ran off to the direction of the fossil room.

"Wait!" Cheren cried, reaching out, but it was too late, Alex was out of sight already. "Damn, he didn't even ask me what fossils were which. Let's just hope he doesn't get… _her_." Cheren got shivers down his spine from remembering that one moemon that they had to turn back into a fossil making the power run down on the machine. Let's hope for their sanity's sake that he doesn't get the Shield Fossil.

Back at the lab, Alex was looking at the fossil he picked out to try and guess the pokemon he might get. The fossil looked a bit like what looked like a shield, but he couldn't tell for sure. _Ah well, at least there isn't supposed to be a certain fossil I'm supposed to not revive_ Alex thought.

He randomly pressed some buttons again, and got the prompt on screen to place the pokeball in, which he did. Now, all he had to do was wait for the machine to bring back the pokemon. As he thought it would be appropriate to do to introduce a new member to the team, he released his 4 pokemon he already had. Mizu just fell asleep nearby due to her still being exhausted from her battle earlier. Kumori rested Mizu's head in her lap to make sure that Mizu wouldn't have a sore neck from sleeping on a hard floor. Hime sat near Kumori and watched Mizu sleep since she didn't have anything else to do due to the lack of playing cards Alex had at the moment. Troll just attached itself to Alex's head, but Alex didn't mind it for once.

"Hmm, do you have any idea what kind of pokemon this is Troll? I want to go ahead and think of a name for it."

"Shuck. Shuckle, shuck, shuck shuckle." At this, Troll started to laugh while Hime and Kumori giggled as well, only confusing Alex.

"What? What is he saying? I've been around you three for so long I forgot normal pokemon can't talk." Alex, of course, face-palmed as he said the last sentence.

"Oh, he just said how much he loved that you asked for his opinion even though you can't understand him. He also said that you should be able to scan the fossil as it is now and get some info from it." Kumori got an interesting idea after she said this and decided that she would have another nightly training session, this time with Troll.

"Alright, thanks. Well, let's see the info I can get from what's already here." After Alex said this, he got his pokedex and scanned the fossil through the glass.

Pokedex Entry

Pokemon: Shieldon

Gender: Female

Level: 25

Moves: Tackle, Protect, Metal Sound, Take Down, Iron Defense, Swagger, Rock Blast

Summary: Shieldon are very enjoyable creatures, being able to carry five times their body weight on their face due to the amount of metal found in its shield-like mask. People have often compared their evolutionary line to the Aron evolutionary line saying that the only difference is that the Shieldon line naturally get rock-type moves while the Aron line has a slightly higher defensive stat.

"Well, this seems like an interesting pokemon. I think I'll call you… Toku. Yeah, that's a good name." As Alex said this, the machine let out a ding, and looking inside you could see that the fossil was no longer there and the pokeball was now occupied.

"Alright, come on out Toku and meet your new friends!" Alex pressed the button and released the pokemon-now-moemon inside. The girl looked like an average 14 year old girl, with the only difference being a big black chest-plate covering the whole front part of her torso. She had black hair that reached to her shoulders and brown eyes as well as a tan undershirt and tan shorts.

"Hi there! Nice to meet all of you! And thank you for bringing me back from that fossil again, you won't believe how weird it feels turning into a fossil for a second time." Toku seemed to be really excited to be able to meet more pokemon like herself. She explained how she didn't remember how, but she was a normal Shieldon at one point, got turned into a fossil and then when she was revived from the fossil she was how she looked now. Although…

"There is one difference between me and normal, 'moemon' as you call them." This got Alex's intrigue.

"What do you mean by different?"

Well, remember how I said I was turned into a fossil a second time? Well, the first time I was revived I met two people, a guy with glasses and a dark-skinned woman who said they needed to inspect my body for some reason. They got me undressed and when they saw my, special parts, the lady got a weird grin on her face while they guy screamed. He took me and put me back in the machine before the lady could stop him and the next thing I know I'm a fossil again." Now Kumori was interested. She wanted to know exactly what it was that got those two people to act that way.

"Hey, Toku, do you mind coming with me so I can see what they saw as well? I'm curious to why they would act that way." Kumori moved Mizu off her lap so she could stand up. She walked over to Toku and took off before the new girl could say anything. Alex was about to go after them, but got tripped by one of Hime's vines.

"And where do you think you're going Mr. Pervert?" Hime had a slightly sadistic look in her eyes as she said that.

"It's not what you think! I just wanted to, uh, make sure they didn't get lost is all. Yeah, that's it." Alex was now worrying on getting the vine off his leg more than anything that moment. As soon as he got it off, a both blushing Kumori and Toku walked back in.

"Remember Toku, don't let anyone see or know about this. It's nothing bad, but it's not something you normally see." Toku didn't respond verbally, but she did nod her head very fast.

"Okay then, are we ready to go?" Alex was now ready to get out of this museum. He decided that they had been in there for way to long.

"Yep." All his moemon replied. Troll just said his name as normal pokemon did. Alex returned his pokemon to their respective pokeballs and exited the building and ran into a familiar face.

"Oh, hey Mel, what are you doing here?" Mel was just as startled as Alex was and took a moment to recompose herself.

"I had heard someone of your description was in the museum, so I came here to see if it was you or not."

"Is there a specific reason why you wanted to know if it was me?"

"Kind of. I mean, at first there wasn't, but then I saw this restaurant that looked really good and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get dinner there together? You don't have to of course, but I just wanted to ask you since you were here and I would hate to eat by myself…" Mel had a faint blush on her face that pretty much anyone but Alex could see.

"Sure, I got no plans since all I was going to do was sleep till tomorrow anyways."

"Good. The thing is that this restaurant doesn't allow pokemon whether they are in their balls or not, so you might have to drop them off at the Daycare near here. I have to go there myself so we can walk there together if you want."

"Alright, then let's go." With that, the two walked back near Striaton City to the pokemon Daycare center that was located next to a human daycare center for some reason.

"Alright, so me and Mel are going to this restaurant for dinner and we have to leave you all here. If we don't make it back before closing time, then expect us back here early in the morning." Alex was telling his pokemon the same thing that Mel was telling her pokemon. After the pokemon reluctantly agreed to stay for the night if needed, the two trainers walked back to Nacrene City and then the restaurant.

A few hours later, we see the same two trainers exiting the restaurant.

"Wow, that was good. It took a long time, but the food was worth it." Alex said as he patted his now filled up stomach.

"Yeah. Too bad the center had to close an hour ago, else we probably would have made it in time."

"So, do you have a room at the pokemon center checked out? I didn't get one when I arrived here so I was wondering if we could share and I could pay for our pokemon back in the morning." Mel definitely thought that this night could not go any better for her so far.

"Of course! If you don't mind sharing a single bed that is."

"Nope, no problem at all." The two walked to the center and to Mel's room, unaware that they were holding each other's hands along the way. The two got dressed and ready for bed in the bathroom at separate times.

"Good night Mel" Alex said as he turned off his light. Mel turned off her light and wrapped her arms around Alex, holding herself tight to him.

"Good night Alex." Mel said back as she kissed him on the cheek.

Meanwhile, at the pokemon daycare, a small, snoring rock was engulfed in a strange, slimy substance, and then released shortly afterwards…

Casey: Aw, I like how that ended minus that seemingly out of place line. Now, what was that slimy substance and who is Alex's brother? All in due time everyone, all in due time… Now, sneak peak time! All you will get is dialogue, but not knowing who said what. The lines can be in order or not, you'll have to read the next chapter to find out.

SNEAK PEAK OF CHAPTER 10

"I still say she shouldn't be here."

"What's gotten into you?"

"I don't know how, but I'm pregnant. I need your help, please."

"What?"


	10. Chapter 10: How does that even work?

Chapter 10: How does that even work?

Beast: Hello everyone! After I got over my cold, someone else managed to get it, so we had people sick all week. Right now, we just have Sponge and Pickanumber (Formerly Gay and Proud. He wanted to change it so we let him.) and they will be the last two people that will be introduced. Now, looking at how the guys did last chapter, I have to say they did a great job with it so for now on, ANs will be kept to a minimum, and we will have sneak peeks of the next chapter as well! Now, today we got the sisters Yoko and Tsunyan by a coin flip!

Yoko: Yep, a coin flip. So instead of going out to buy a lock for my underwear drawer that is losing more and more clothes every day, I'm here in the basement of our little company house helping with the story that I never really wanted to commit to. But, it should be a good time waster, and my little sis seems to like doing this, so I'll go along with it.

Tsunyan: Hiyo everyone! Just to let you know, I was the one to put in the part about Toku having a secret and right now only me and my sis know what it is, so don't go asking anyone what it is 'cause they won't know! Also, just because I'm the youngest of all of the people that work here, that doesn't mean I'm the most innocent and I will not hesitate to stretch out your tongue with a taffy stretcher and then shove it up your ass once its long enough, understood? Great!

Beast: … Let's just get to the replies already.

Reply Corner!

Numbershooter-

Tenchi: Yeah, and by making 5 major gaming companies lose over $1000 dollars from handmade keygens! Wait, that's just me? Oops…

Tsunyan: Well, ignoring our idiotic orange person here (no, seriously, he actua;y has naturally orange skin that's not from a tan, like wtf?), you got the original idea for Toku's secret, but we changed it as the chapter was written, but don't worry, the secret will be revealed within the next 5 to 10 chapters. As for your prediction on the dialogue, all I'm going to say is that it's not involving a dream, but you'll see it soon, that's why it's a sneak peek!

Guest-

Beast: Glad you're enjoying it! Even though it's an anonymous review, every review counts, so thank you for your input! And on that note, let's start this before I start to ramble like usual!

Previously:

"Good night Mel" Alex said as he turned off his light. Mel turned off her light and wrapped her arms around Alex, holding herself tight to him.

"Good night Alex." Mel said back as she kissed him on the cheek.

Meanwhile, at the pokemon daycare, a small, snoring rock was engulfed in a strange, slimy substance, and then released shortly afterwards…

Now:

"So, how did your date go last night?" Mizu asked Alex and Mel excitedly. They just payed for their pokemon back and were just waiting for their pokemon to return from the field they had stayed at the night before and that morning as well.

"Well, I'm not sure you would call it a date-" Mel started to softly say with a blush on her face, but Alex didn't hear her and interrupted.

"It was wonderful! Even though it was just dinner, the food was great and being with Mel made it even better!" Alex grabbed Mel's hand as he said this making her blush even harded.

"W-wait, w-would that mean that t-that was an actual d-date?" Mel didn't necessarily want to call it a date since she wasn't sure if Alex felt that way for her, but since he did, could that mean that he-?

"Oh, was I getting ahead of myself? I just thought since the restaurant did allow pokemon from the way there was pokemon in a separate area, you just wanted to make sure it was us two. If you don't want to call it a date, I can understand…" Now it was Alex's turn to blush since he thought if he called it a date, she would too, and they could possibly do more dates together.

"NO!" Mel yelled out, startling Alex and Mizu who was enjoying the conversation the two trainers were having. When Mel realized she said that too loud, she immediately tried to apologized. "I'm sorry, I mean, I want it to count that as a date but I wasn't sure if you would think it was one too and since I know you wanted it to be a date too we could possiblygoonanotheronelatero rwecouldtraveltogetherormayb eevenbeboyfriendandgirlfrien d."

Mel said this incredibly fast making Mizu pause to try and realize what Mel had said, but Alex had somehow managed to understand all of it and grabbed Mel by her waist, pulling her in front of him staring her in the eyes.

"Well, how about instead of 'maybe', we 'will be'. And if you want we could even start now…" Alex then leaned his face closer to hers until they were 3 inches apart… 2 inches… 1…

"HEY HIME! GET OVER HERE! MEL AND ALEX ARE ABOUT TO KISS! HURRY, COME LOOK!" Mizu completely ruined the moment yelling over to Hime who was walking over to them with Troll on her head, smiling as always, making Alex and Mel break apart to look over at the approaching pokemon.

"Oh, don't stop on our account, we just we just _love_ to watch you two continue whatever you did last night." Hime had a smirk of satisfaction on her face, probably from being able to keep Alex away from kissing Mel.

"Yes, quite. Although, it would have been quite the show, if I might add." A Brittish voice said.

"For your information lizard, me and Alex did nothing last night of the sort and- did that Shuckle just really talk in a Brittish accent?" Hime scowled at the nickname Mel gave her out of anger, but decided to explain some things.

"Yep, the little turtle can talk. Apparently the combination of Hypnosis and Nightmare, as Kumori found out, can allow a regular pokemon to learn human speech as long as the user can speak that language as well. Me and him talked most of the morning on whether he is a turtle, a worm, a rock or what, and I have to say that he pretty smart for a pokemon whose species is only good for their defense." Alex and Mel were amazed at this new information. Who knows what else could happen? They secretly decided to not tell anyone including all the professors unless it was necessary.

"Yes, I must say that it is indubitably a very important piece of information about pokemon that should have been found if not for the main focus of research being on how our eggs are formed. I must also apologize for my actions yesterday for I was unaware of the communication error I had with you. I very much enjoy resting on my trainer's head for not only am I slow but I am also small in size, so I attached myself to your head in order for myself to move around faster and feel taller. If you would want, I will stop resting on your head if Hime will allow me to rest on hers since I very much enjoy the earthly scent her hair gives off." Everyone sweatdropped since they felt the mood was just right for them to do such an action

"Alright, so all we need to do is wait for Kumori and Toku. Anyone see them this morning?" Alex also was wondering if they had over stayed their time at the center since almost an hour and a half have passed since Alex and Mel first entered the building.

"Oh, Kumori was throwing up this morning so she must be asking for some medicine to take. Although, I wouldn't expect her to take a whole hour for a small bit of medicine until we could get to a Nurse Joy to heal her up." Mizu looked a bit worried as she said this, as if she knew the reason behind this but didn't want to explain.

"Don't worry, I'm fine." A voice said as a figure came around the corner, revealing it to be Kumori "Hey Mel. Sorry I'm late, I got some medicine, but it made me a bit drowsy so I took a quick nap and didn't hear them call for us. So, can we leave? I'm tired of being here as it is and I don't want to ever come back unless I had to." Her eyes looked a bit red as if she was sick and threw up, but she also seemed to be more… solid than before. Her stone also wasn't visible, but Alex just figured it was out of their sight for now.

"If you're feeling like traveling through a forest to the next town then we can leave as soon as Mel gets her pokemon." Alex learned that Mel wasn't a full time trainer and wasn't interested in the gym challenge, so she just leave her pokemon in a storage box so she can get them wherever she needs them. Mel wanted to wait with Alex before she got her pokemon so she would be able to see if she could travel with him as well as help train his pokemon.

"Why do we need to wait for her? If we're going to the same place, she can catch up with us when we get to the city." Kumori wasn't happy with waiting and she showed it by crossing her arms and scowling.

"Well, Mel and I are kinda going out right now, so we are going to travel together for a while and see how it works out." Alex was confused on Kumori's logic but hoped that his explanation would calm her down a bit. All it did was make her even angrier and made her grab his arm, taking him away from the group.

"What do you mean you're going out? You have one date and now you're going out with her? You do know that's how all bad relationships fail right? And why is she here with you, she could have easily walked here by herself." Kumori was visibly seething with rage, slightly scaring Alex.

"Come on Kumori, calm down, like I said, we're only seeing how-" Alex tried to get Kumori to calm down, but was interrupted by her in the middle of his explanation.

"Calm down? Calm down!? I am calm! But you're acting like you don't care about us anymore! Do you even care about us?" Kumori now looked like she was about to cry.

"You know that's not true, you're my pokemon and I would do anything for any of you." Alex saw her face light up and hoped she had calmed down finally.

"So you'll leave her behind?" Kumori had an excited grin on her face that made Alex almost face-palmed himself for thinking it would be that easy to calm her down.

"I can't do that, she'll all alone and who knows what could happen to her-" Alex was cut off yet again by a freshly enraged Kumori.

"Just let whatever happens to her happen! She isn't that big of an importance in your life yet so you shouldn't care about what happens to her!" This only made Alex to become angry himself.

"She's just as important to me as you are. Why are you even upset that she's traveling with us or here with me? Mel was the one who gave you to me so you should already familiar traveling with her." The anger in his voice made Kumori take a step back but she didn't stay silent.

"I still say she shouldn't be here." Kumori looked hurt at how Alex talked to her, but Alex was getting annoyed with her mood swings that it just made him angrier.

"What's gotten into you?" Alex almost yelled at her, but managed to find a small portion of control in his voice.

"I don't know how, but I'm pregnant. I need your help, please." Kumori looked up at Alex with a tear-streak under each eye as she said that last word that made Alex understand how serious she was.

"What?" All of the anger Alex had was now replaced by fear.

Beast: Cliffhanger here just because Yoko really doesn't want to be down here anymore and its starting to scare me to be honest.

Yoko: Trust me, no one want to be down here when it's not necessary since it smells something awful and that air is still dusty.

Tsunyan: I just wish we could have ended on the cliffhanger I wanted! But, I did get to have Troll have a British accent from plenty of 'persuading'.

Beast: She did have a great point with "Because Brittish accents are awesome so write it in or I'll suffocate you with a red snapper." I just don't want to know what kind of red snapper. *shiver*

Yoko: Well, review so I don't have to be in this horrible basement. I really hope someone cleans it up better.

**SNEAK PEEK OF CHAPTER 11:**

"That… isn't mayonnaise."

"God, I hated Anatomy class so much."

"Come on, why won't you wake up!?"

"What do you mean they go insane?"


	11. Chapter 11: The Insanity Begins

Chapter 11: The Insanity Begins

Beast: Hey guys, weird stuffs been going on between people here and as much as I would like to talk about it 'cause some of its actually pretty funny; I just don't want to have both the story and the AN splitting each chapter in half. I mean, if you guys want to know about all the crazy shit that happens to us in real life, let me know and I'll put some in, not everything, but the stuff I believe is worth the most is mentioning. If you don't want to know or don't really care and you mostly skip out on the ANs, then we can focus solely on the story, you guys decide. Alright, well still introducing the workers, we got Jenn and Shad here!

Jenn: Heyy there! Before when we were first 'introduced' but it was really Jonesie making us look bad, he said that I was a 'self-proclaimed mega slut'. Just to let you know, I'm not really one. I just have this condition that makes me horny at random moments and it takes a lot for it to pass. And I only wear little clothing because Beast keeps the A/C at like, 90 degrees or something. Lastly, I am dating Shad, that part is true, but I never fuck another guy other than my boyfriend.

Shad: Well, I don't know where Jonesie got me banging 8 chicks out of seven weeks, because my own record is only three girls in one week so far. I am dating Jenn anyways, so don't want or need any more girls to hang onto me. I would talk more, but me and Jenn have to do, so later.

Beast: Damn. Well, I have a headache for no reason so I need to get some Aspririn. Luckily Tsunyan is here for replying to reviews!

Reply Corner!

Numbershooter-

Tsunyan: That would be a very accurate guess if we already had the insanity drive installed into the story, but it will be added sooner than you think. Although, the invincible pineapple does sound interesting… Maybe you might actually will be able to join the crew as you call it if you manage to come up with even more interesting ideas. ;)

HazelFireSky-

Tsunyan: I'm happy that you at least took the time to write at least one review and I'm sure Beast is too! I'm also glad you don't think that all of us are just random OCs made by some guy, because we most definitely are not! But either way, it's always wonderful to hear someone is enjoying the story so thank you for your time!

* * *

Previously:

"What's gotten into you?" Alex almost yelled at her, but managed to find a small portion of control in his voice.

"I don't know how, but I'm pregnant. I need your help, please." Kumori looked up at Alex with a tear-streak under each eye as she said that last word that made Alex understand how serious she was.

"What?" All of the anger Alex had was now replaced by fear.

Now:

Mel waited out in the hallway of a hospital that served both pokemon and people. Not only was she worried about who she was waiting on an analysis from the doctor, but ever since she got there her mind didn't seem to want to work correctly. Even getting lunch she couldn't think straight.

_Flashback_

Mel was blankly staring at the sandwich in front of her. She didn't know what to do ever since she had arrived at the hospital, and just felt useless. Soon, she was snapped out of her trance-like state by a doctor who was to be with her for a while until they could begin their tests.

"Ms. Mel? Are you okay?" Concern was written over the doctor's face as he had been watching Mel stare at the food she brought to the table with her without moving.

"Hm? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I was just deciding what else my sandwich needed. Could you hand me that mayonnaise you're using?" This question from Mel only got her a look as if she had two heads.

"That… isn't mayonnaise. Its horseradish and I don't think it would go good on a bacon sandwich where it's only half-cooked bacon between two slices of bread. If you're not feeling well miss, I can get you a place to lie down and sleep at if you want to." Mel flushed red in embarrassment as she realized this truth and quickly left the cafeteria, heading back to the waiting area.

_Flashback Over_

The door opened revealing the doctor that had first gone inside to perform his tests. Mel saw him and immediately ran up to him.

"Is there anything new at all? Anything that you can tell me? Anything at all?" Mel asked the doctor quickly, the doctor almost not understanding what she said.

"Well, the first thing is that the Spiritomb, Kumori I believe her name is, is pregnant and will be delivering the egg in the next few hours, although it is an abnormal birth as the offspring will be the basic evolution of the male and not a Spiritomb. I would normally help out in the delivery, but because of the way a Spiritomb produces an egg and how there are now Moemon for less than a month, we will have a professional in both human and pokemon births come in to observe this new phenomena. God, I hated Anatomy class so much." The doctor said this last sentence outloud to himself as he started to walk away.

"Wait what about-" Mel started to say until the doctor turned around and held up his hand.

"It's alright to go inside now. We don't know how much longer it will take, but we'll have our eyes on everything that happens. I'll come back in to let you know if we need to look at anything." With that Mel rushed into the room and the doctor smiled slightly to himself and walked off to observe the brain scans he received.

Inside the room, Mel stared at the form in front of her, watching the sheets slowly rise and fall.

"What happened?" Mel whispered, not expecting an answer, and not getting one. "Come on, why won't you wake up?" The form continued to lay there, sheets slowly rising and falling, not changing at all. "Please wake up soon. I love you too much to not hear your voice. I just want to know if you're okay." With that, Mel laid her head on the form's chest and cried.

At the end of the bed, a form there had the words written:

**Name: **Alex Shimofuri

**Condition:** Coma

**Notes: **Unknown if actually a coma. Brain scans should show if he is or not and will show a prediction of waking up.

_Flashback_

"What?" Alex asked. Kumori had just told him she was pregnant.

"I don't know either. Pokemon don't get sick when pregnant, but probably because moemon is built on human DNA, I probably can get sick myself. I probably got raped last night by… by something and I can't remember who in there was in my egg group." Kumori still had a few tearstains down her face and she looked like she was about to break down crying at any moment.

"What can I do? I'll do anything you need to, just tell me."

"Get rid of it."

"…'Scuse me?

"I want you to get rid of it. I don't care how, just get it away from me!"

"You mean put the egg up for adoption or an abortion or…?" That was as far as Alex got before being shoved to the ground.

"Abortion? ABORTION? You want to kill my child?" Kumori's sudden outburst stunned Alex for a second.

"No! Not at all! I just wanted to know how you wanted to get rid of it." This got Kumori even angrier.

"Get rid of it? Why would I get rid of my own child?"

"But you just said-"

"I said nothing of the sort! Why would want to get rid of my own child? You know what, you're really starting to annoy me, just shut up for a while! Hypnosis!" Kumori sent out a quick blast of psychic energy at Alex, making him fall asleep.

"You now want to fall asleep after wanting to get rid of my child? That's it! Nightmare!" She then sent another blast of energy at Alex, but it was darker in nature. As soon as it hit Alex, he started to twist and writhe on the ground and then screamed out in pain. Mel and Alex's moemon as well as Toku who just met up with the group heard the scream and ran over to the part of the building they saw Kumori and Alex disappear to earlier.

"Alex, what's wrong? Alex? Kumori, what happened to Alex? Why won't he calm down?" Mel had hurried to Alex's side and was making sure his head wouldn't hit into the floor.

"I… I don't know what I just did. I got angry and then… I don't know." Kumori was scared for fear of doing something that could possibly be fatal. The owners of the center decided to check what was going on.

"What's going on with him? Well, whatever it is, it doesn't look good. You two should take him to the hospital over in Striaton, don't worry about your other pokemon here, we'll watch them for free. You just make sure he gets there safely." Kumori and Mel thanked them for watching the others freely and picked up Alex, carrying him out the door to Striaton City where they easily found the hospital.

At the hospital, they got Alex into a room and put a drug in an IV to relax him. Kumori also decided to get checked out while they were there and told Mel here predicament. They got her into the pokemon area where they got Kumori into a room and Mel returned to the hallway outside Alex's room.

_Flashback End_

After an hour of nothing, the doctor returned with a grim expression. "Well, after checking out the brain scans, we can confirm he is in a type of coma. Now, there is good news and bad news. The good news is he will wake up tomorrow at the latest since this isn't the first time we have had a Hypnosis/Nightmare coma patient. The bad news is that they… well… they became insane." Mel shot up and looked at the doctor, horror written on her face.

"What do you mean they became insane? Will that happen to Alex? Can he become normal again if it does happen?"

"All of the patients have slowly regained sanity, but it hasn't really hampered their life by much so Alex will be able to leave when he wakes up, but we will give you some pills to get Alex to take, but you have to make sure he doesn't know about them or his condition. Doing so could worsen the condition. After a while, it should be better but the time has been different for everyone afflicted. All we can hope is that he doesn't become like those who have died…"

* * *

Beast: Well, that took longer than I thought. 3 whole days to finish writing this. Mostly work and visiting Tsunyan's college for different reasons has had me push it back. Like I said before, let me know if you guys want us to talk about some of the crazy shit that happens around here, because I'm not sure if you guys like it or what, so let us know if you want to. No one else with me right now, so peace, love and chicken grease!

SNEAK PEEK OF CHAPTER 11!

"Everything smells like blue, tastes like purple, and feels like red right now."

"Heh, talking boobs."

"Remind me to never piss off my own shadow again."

"Let me guess, you either want to fuck or you have become a nudist and want me to join too."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: The Birth of the Bottomless Hole

Beast: Greetings and salutations readers and writers alike! Yes, I know it's been a long time since I posted a chapter, but things have been terrible starting a few days after I lasted updated. For a long story short, had a car accident, lost a few co-workers, was in the hospital for 2 months, company almost went bankrupt, worked my ass off day and night against doctor's orders to rest when I got out of the hospital, and had the company reduced to just 5 people including myself due to complications. But things aren't all bad! I have the 3 girls fighting over me, the douchebag is now my best male friend, and I can still update now!

Jonesie: You still won't get over that incident? Goddamit man, it was just a muffin.

Beast: But it was a BLUEBERRY muffin!

Jonesie: So?

Beast: That's my favorite kind of muffin!

Jonesie: Whatever, I'll buy you a dozen of them later.

Beast: The douchebag has just been promoted to a regular douche. As well as Jonesie staying, we still have Yoko, Tsunyan, and Casey as well, so you'll be seeing them around as well. Now I know I've asked for OCs from people before and I appreciate the ones I was given, but sadly I will not be any OCs except for ones that were made by me and the others. I will be using them later, but until things get back on track I will not be using them. Sorry to everyone who wanted to see theirs, but you can understand, right? Well, let's get on with the review responses and then the story!

Reply Corner!

potentialauthor18-

Beast: I'm really glad that you're enjoying the story and that you find it funny! As for Alex getting laid, well… Nope, not spoiling anything.

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_Previously:_

"What do you mean they became insane? Will that happen to Alex? Can he become normal again if it does happen?"

"All of the patients have slowly regained sanity, but it hasn't really hampered their life by much so Alex will be able to leave when he wakes up, but we will give you some pills to get Alex to take, but you have to make sure he doesn't know about them or his condition. Doing so could worsen the condition. After a while, it should be better but the time has been different for everyone afflicted. All we can hope is that he doesn't become like those who have died…"

_Now:_

"Wow, for a crack story, that last chapter was really dark…" Mel said, staring up a the ceiling

"Story? Chapter? What are you talking about?" The doctor had an amusing look of confusion written all over his face.

"Oh yeah, insignificant character. Ah well, never mind what I said. How are we going to wake Alex up?" Mel had a look of concern as she looked at Alex's sleeping body, covered in dust from lack of recent chapter updates.

"Well, other than waiting it out, there isn't much we can do for him here." The doctor looked over his notes carefully to check his information.

"What about somewhere else?" Mel was half-intrigued, half-suspicious now.

"There is this rare flower that grows in the mountains near here. If we had it, then we could make something to wake him up immedia-" The doctor stopped when he saw Mel get onto the bed Alex was on and stood up.

"Wake up you shit head! I'm not fulfilling some over-used plot device to wake you up, so just wake up!" Mel shouted at Alex while kicking his crotch to emphasize each syllable as the doctor watched with a sweat-drop on his head.

_Meanwhile in Alex's coma_

"Fucking hell. What did Kumori do to me? Everything smells like blue, tastes like purple, and feels like red right now. I'm pretty sure it wasn't Mardi Gras yesterday either." Alex was… well… floating in a white space sitting cross-legged while thinking over what happened to him exactly. Suddenly, like a horribly written fanfic, Darkrai and Cresselia appeared before him, turning the white landscape into a mixture and black and pink.

"Alex." They both talked at the same time in two different voices, one high and one low, but Alex did not look fazed at their sudden appearance. "We are here because you have been chosen."

"I know. And you were sent by Arceus or God or whoever to tell me my destiny, share with me gifts given to you by god, and then send me on my way." Alex said this in a deadpan voice and a black expression on his face.

"We were sent here by Arceus to… Oh, wait, dammit! How did you know already? You're not supposed to know until now!" The way the voices sounded at the same time was comical enough to make Alex start laughing.

"Well duh, this is a fanfic written by a guy and his co-workers who are trying to make this as funny as they think they can. Besides, I was pretty much expecting this to happen since it's an over-used mechanic in stories." Alex pulled a nail filer out of his pocket and said this as if it was the most known piece of information in the world.

"What? Well, whatever, here are your gifts from Arceus. A bag that holds an infinite amount of Rare Candies and Masterballs, a fully completed Pokedex, and ourselves to be your Pokemon." Alex had a look of surprise on his face before his expression turned into one of a more deadpan nature.

"Wait a minute, this is a dream. How will I be able to keep all this in the real world without people wondering how I got this. And how will it even show up if I'm under constant watch?"

"Well, if this is a dream, you should be able to wake up without us, shouldn't you?"

"Fine, I will. And then you'll feel like idiots!" Alex had a triumphant smile on his face.

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine. I'm out, word to your mother!"

And then Alex woke up.

_Out of the dream_

"Goddammit. What kind of line is that? Fucking Jonesie…" Alex mumbled as he sat up in his bed. Next thing he knew, his face was in a place all men love to be.

"I'msosorryI'msosorryI'msosorryI'msosorryI'msosorr y!" As far as Alex was concerned, he could be being eaten alive and he wouldn't care.

"Heh, talking boobs. Wait, apologizing talking boobs? Why are the boobs apologizing? They're boobs!" Alex pulled back to breathe and saw the face of a worried and apologetic Kumori. A no-longer-pregnant Kumori as well.

"Kumori? Wait, what happened to your egg or child or whatever? And could you get off me, you're kinda suffocating me." Kumori jumped off his bed and Alex looked around to see all the girls looking relieved, Troll on Hime's head with a look that would make a Quagsire jealous, and the doctor in a corner of the room, banging his head on the wall. The doctor quickly recomposed himself and cleared his throat.

"Yes, well, her pregnancy was a success and we are currently taking note of the child's status. We will be releasing her into your custody tomorrow when we are done observing her. For the time being, I will leave you all alone to catch up." With that, the doctor left the room muttering to himself about crazy women and denying the chance to help science.

"Wait, 'her'? I don't think we really need another female on my team, do we? Can't we just leave her here?" Alex tried to get the doctor's attention to no avail. Looking over at a cracking sound next to him, he saw Kumori with a terrifying look, cracking her knuckles to cause said sound.

"What about my child? You really want to separate me from her after all that's happened so far? I think you should learn your lesson, AGAIN!" Alex gulped and tried to back away from the approaching Kumori, only to fall out of the bed.

Half an hour later, we now see Alex in a full body cast, somehow, in the same room he has been in. Everyone was standing around laughing at the misfortune of our hero while he was not amused.

"Dammit Kumori, I'm only human. Did you really have to use your full power?" Kumori was the first to stop laughing and easily responded.

"I didn't do it though. I only manipulated your shadow to cripple your body." Kumori tried to look as innocent as should could, but failed horribly at doing so and burst out laughing yet again.

"Remind me to never piss off my own shadow again." And with that, Alex decided it was a good time to rest, so he fell asleep leaving the others laughing at him.

_The Next Day_

"Take off your clothes." These were the first words that Alex heard when he woke. Alex opened his eyes only to discover… there was a blindfold over his eyes.

"Who's there? And why am I getting naked for you? And why is there a blindfold over my eyes?" Alex didn't know whether to be scared or excited at the situation.

"In order of your questions, Mizu, none of your business, and so you don't see me naked as well… at least not yet." The now revealed Mizu whispered the last part herself so Alex didn't hear, but he did and decided to pretend he didn't.

"Well, since you won't tell me why… Let me guess, you either want to fuck or you have become a nudist and want me to join too." If Alex saw Mizu's face, he would have loved the priceless look on her face that showed.

"No! Nothing like that! You just smell really bad for being in place for so long that we decided you needed to take a bath, and I got the short straw when deciding who would help you." At this, Alex started laughing almost like a madman.

"Oh, let me guess, Mel was the one who suggested the idea and Kumori seconded it, right?" Alex managed to gasp out in between breaths.

"Well, yes, but… Never mind! If you don't think you need any help, then I'll be outside with the others." Mizu got dressed and took off the blindfold without another word, rushing out before Alex could say anything, leaving him alone in the room.

"But… I never said anything about not needing help…" Alex said out loud to no one.

_An hour later_

"Onii-chan! I'm so happy to finally meet you!" Alex looked down at the green jell-o blob that was now wrapped around his waist. After having a long shower, Alex went outside to the waiting room to see the others since he was now allowed to leave that day. After walking into the room, he found himself in the situation he was now in.

"O-Onii-chan? What are you talking about? I don't even know who you are. Someone explain please!" The blob had a iron-like grip on his waist and didn't seem like it would let go. Over with the others, they were having another laughing fit at his predicament. The doctor decided now would be a good time to arrive and explain things.

"Oh, I see you're up and about. Ready to leave I'm guessing? Well, before you leave, there is some information on Kumori's child you should know. This is a Solosis pokemon, but it is a bit strange since when she was born, she was already in a moemon state without being caught. As we learned before, the father's DNA was more prominent, so we can conclude that whoever inseminated your Spiritomb was either a Duosion or Reuniclus. Another strange factor is that she was born looking like a regular human newborn with the coating, but grew to her approximately 7-8 years old look in a matter of hours. She also is at level 15 but with access to every move that a Reuniclus can learn. Regular Solosis' can't usually use what she can, but she won't be able to learn any new moves. Any questions? No? Good, because frankly I don't know how any of this is possible, but after meeting you guys, I can't really give a fuck anymore." And with that long explanation, the doctor left to go band his head on some wall again some more.

"Well then, now what?" Alex spoke after a period of silence. Everyone in the room just looked at him as if it was the simplest answer in the world.

"We have an orgy, duh!" Everyone replied. Alex just face faulted.

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Beast: And so, chapter 12 ends. I hope all of you got a good laugh reading this chapter and I would appreciate any and all feedback! Sadly to those who think that next chapter will be an orgy chapter, it's just a joke. Sorry for spoilers, but I'm not exactly one to get peoples hopes up for a while and then deny them what they want.

Casey: Pfft. Yeah, right. Yoko, Tsunyan and I can all beg to differ on that.

Yoko: Yeah, when are you going to choose one of the three of us?

Tsunyan: And what about that one night between you and me?

Casey & Yoko: WHAT!?

Beast: Well, this escalated quickly. See all of you later if I don't get ripped to shreds first!

SNEAK PEEK OF CHAPTER 12!

"How much more fluff do we have to go through?"

"I'm telling you the truth. Nothing can beat me."

"Apparently, this guy is supposed to be the main antagonist."

"I love you."


End file.
